I need advice on siblings disagreeing on care of elderly parents.?

My father is 75 and mother is 69. My father's health isn't the greatest but he is still quite independant. My mother is very healthy, very active. My brother who was chosen by them to inherit their home and land wants to tear down their home this year and build a home for his family to share with them. They would have their own bedrooms and living room but would have to share a kitchen area.
The rest of us siblings do not like this idea. We do not get along with our brother's wife. We will not feel welcome to be in a shared kitchen. A big part of our family traditions involve us visiting, bringing meals with us, or preparing them there for our parents. Our children, their grandchildren have the freedom to raid grandma and grandpas' cupboards. So much is going to change.
Do we have the right to insist that our brother give them their own apartment in the home with their own kitchen.

How about asking your parents what they prefer. This isn't about the kids; it's about the parents.

I really think that's up to your parents. If your brother is who they chose and they are in agreement with him, I don't think there's much you can do about it.

Talk to your parents first. If I am right, they do not want to have their home torn down. That is their home and their life's memories. They will be lost and strangers in a new place...like a man without a country. Tell them you stand behind them 100% if they want to keep their home.

If your brother goes through with this, your parents' health will go downhill rapidly and they will give up. I really hope your brother does not do this.

I really don't see a problem with this type of living situation, especially if they will be caring for your elderly parents. If I had the money to do so, I think I would create a similar type fo living arrangements for my aging parents.

Why don't the rest of you siblings, insist on paying for and building a add on kitchen to yur brothers house plans?

Dang, did mom and dad only like him if he gets it all? :-(

The problem is not about the care of your parents, it's about the fact you don't like your sister-in-law.
Your parents apparently made the decision that the family home and land are to go to your brother. If they're giving it to him NOW instead of via the will, it IS his to do with as he pleases and frankly, he doesn't even have to do anything for the parents if they just give it all to him now.
If it's in the will, on what authority would he tear down and build? He'd need your parents' consent.
So either the decision has been made by your parents, who you do not accuse of dementia, or they will have to consent to the changes.
The problem, then, is your feelings about the sister-in-law and you need to figure out what you're going to do about that and insisting that your parents have a spacious enough kitchen to have you and your kids hang out in is not something you're really entitled to "insist" on.
I'm sure your parents would be very glad if you worked out your negative feelings towards the sister-in-law. If they gave your brother the house and land and agreed to all of this, apparently they don't share your feelings.

I have a 93 year old Father and a 90 year old Mother. They live in their own home and I am there a lot of the time to help. Tell your brother that he will be sorry about the kitchen thing. It is so hard to cook and clean with them coming in and out all the time - and he and his wife will not be able to tell them not to if it's their Kitchen too. I promise you this will drive his WIFE CRAZY!!!! If he wants to stay married he better listen. There's going to be a lot of intimate years in that kitchen - do they REALLY want that. Even when I mop, I have to get on my hands an knees and dry it with a towel because they won't give it enough time to dry. Copy this and let him read it!!!!! They might as well share a bedroom!!!!!!!!!