Elderly care? Independence..?

How do you determine when they are no longer capable of caring for themselves? Sometimes fine - sometimes not, but they have freedom and autonomy now - at age 87.. My father still drives - etc..

I am out of town, but keep in touch by phone - they do have help - thank you all for advice..

i think it all depends on how far their dementia has progressed..being a little "forgetful" is somewhat normal..but forgetting major things like eating, bathing, cleaning surroundings..then you might have a problem..assisted living facilities r ok but they r starting to end up like nursing homes too..certain areas have residents that def belong in nursing homes..i would try to keep your father at home for as long as possible..if he gets worse..try for cna's during the days when you work..but try to keep him out of any facility for as long as possible

Thank You!!..I enjoyed this question because I work in a assisted living facility...My parents are both in their 80's too..both still at home with my dgt ,living in the basement..works out perfect!...they live in w va and i live in chicago..so i do know what u r going thru Report It

i took care of my father till his death. he lived with me for a while. it was hard at times. maybe all they need is a little time from each person once a week and just coming over and doing things. you'd be surprised what can be done in less than an hour. also consider getting the shower grab bars. very inexpensive.

What a tricky question - and one I see all the time in my line of work. I'm the nurse at an assisted living facility.

The things you need to look out for are: Are they taking their medicine correctly? Are they eating properly? Weight loss? Are they getting to appointments they are supposed to?

If the answer to any of those is "no" - you may want to consider assisted living (NOT a nursing home). Assisted living just fills in the gaps that are needed and yet still allow all the autonomy that people can handle. We have residents who still drive - but who may just need a little help with their medications and like having us provide 3 square meals a day.

Assisted living can be pricey - but there are also nice group homes that are a bit more affordable. It's something to think about. The average age of our residents at move-in is around 80... so you seem to have parents in the right age range.

God bless.

Very good question, everyone faces this subject.

Since you are living quite far away from your hometown I think, the best thing you can do is to phone them as often as possible. And if something changes in him/her, you can sense it from their voice or way of speaking. It's the time you determine. On the other side, your voice will surely encourage them and keep their autonomy.

I鈥檓 one of the writers for Gilbert Guide (the foremost resource for everything senior care). It sounds like your father is actually quite independent but may need some assistance in a few areas where he struggles. While assisted living is a viable option, it鈥檚 not your only one. On our homepage, we provide a list of long-term care options and their definitions.

Read about long-term care options here:
http://www.gilbertguide.com/

We have free care planner on our website that helps people determine what level of care their loved one requires. You鈥檒l be prompted to answer a series of questions about your father鈥檚 daily life and his limitations. Then we鈥檒l generate a free report specifying which care option would best serve him. He may require a part-time in-home caregiver to help with a few different tasks鈥攐r he may benefit from spending a little time at an adult day care center.

Check out the free care planner here:
http://www.gilbertguide.com/find-senior-...

If you have any questions, feel free to email me at info@GilbertGuide.com.

Lori,
Gilbert Guide