My friend called me the other day and said she mayb has HIV positive.how can i help? she's freaking ouT?

she had this minor operation for her appendic, and during her stay, this stupid nurse asked her, how she got HIV +, and she was really shocked and cried.

i went to see her and we talked to the doctor in charge and the doctor said that its one of the test or procedure that they need to do b4 any operation. and my friend was suspected with HIV +, and the doctor sent her blood test again and we will get the result in three weeks. and he said the nurse shouldnt asked her like that as its not confirm yet..

i love her soo much, and she's getting freak out day by day and crying.. i donno what to do or say.. i want to be there for her, but how? its only been 4 days... we have another 17 days of hell to go.. how can i help her?!

help! i donno what to say or respond to her.. she keep on saying she's scared of getting HIV and im very worried for her.. i dont want to say the wrong thing..

Sounds like this nurse needs a slap. It was a very stupid thing to say and even if it were true, she had no business saying something like that. I'm not sure how it works in the states, but as a nurse in Britain, I would lose my licence for something like that. Tell your friend to consider making a complaint, I'm really really cross for her! Apart from anything else, it's none of her bloody business how your friend got infected!

I have a feeling this silly woman got her wires crossed and was told to do a routine HIV check but thought the doctor said your friend was HIV+. Some age groups are considered to be at a higher risk than others, so that might be what the doctor meant, that does not mean he thinks your friend is one of them.

There's little you can say to make the situation better, but I would say that there's not a lot of point worrying now about something that might not even happen, she can deal with the outcome when she gets the results, and she'll regret getting so worked up about it if it all comes to nothing. Obviously, that's easy for me to say, I'm not the one going through it all.

You sound like a really good friend, she's lucky to have you. The best thing you can do in this situation is let her react any way she wants to, let her scream and shout if that's what she needs, she'll appreciate the fact that you're just there with her.

Good luck, I really hope she's ok.

Jeez i'm so pi***d at that nurse!!! xxxx

All you can really do is comfort her but I advise you to check with another doctor and get checked again.

First of all I cannot believe the doctor tested her for HIV without her consent and secondly a nurse being so unprofessional to ask her how she got HIV. What country are you living in?
Contact your local Public Health Sexual Health Department and talk to one of the Sexual Health nurses. Tell them what has happened. You do not need to give your friend's name. Ask them what you can do for your friend. Tell them that you are very worried about her. They will try to encourage you to bring her in for counselling. (A very good idea if your friend will agree to it).
You need to have a plan, just in case the second test comes back positive. Some people have committed suicide after being told they are HIV positive. Your friend may be at risk for suicide even now. You can also call an AIDS and Sexual Health information line and ask the counsellor what you can do for her.
If your friend starts talking about wanting to hurt or kill herself call 911.

Even if she is HIV +, it is not the end of the world. Most HIV+ people now live with HIV for lifetimes, without ever changing over to AIDs. I have met many people with HIV for over 30 years and going strong, and have also met someone who had AIDs and got put back into remission and now has HIV status instead of AIDs, has been infected for over 40 years.

That nurse would have been suspended, at least, if she worked for me! No one should be told they DO have HIV if they are not in a place to give them instant counseling! That is really horrible. You and your friend can get a lot of education from public health persons who are totally proficient re: HIV. People live a very long life, mainly, if they DO have HIV these days. It is not the kiss of death. Is your friend concerned about her parents or her life style? It is totally possible that the test was wrong, since the doctor is having it redone. Also, there are clinics that can give you an answer in 20 minutes! Check that out.

Tell her, DO NOT TAKE THE MEDS. If she does, she will die. Please listen to me, and not these other idiots in here. If you care for your friend trust what Im telling you.

First of all, go to a clinic where they do a rapid test, she should not have to suffer for three weeks to wait for results. Talk about cruel and inhumane.

Did she sign a consent form to be tested? Check your state laws but Most states require a signed consent specifically for HIV.

Then after that test IF she has a positive reaction on the test find an agency that specializes in HIV. With medication, diet, exercise, rest and trying to be stress free she can live a long healthy life. Also it would be good for her to find a support group for people who are positive.

Good Luck to both of you, and Thanks to you for being such a caring friend. And for you, IF she does have HIV you will not get it by caring, holding her hand. The only way a person can be infected is by unprotected sex.