I dont know what to do...?

ok my wedding date is 8/16/08 but since my future father in law is really sick and the doctors said he want be alive for that long and i was thinking about moving it to june but the doctor sat me and my fiance down and said that i will be lucky if he makes it through next month and if you were to look at him you wouldnt be able to tell. they put him in a hospice and right now i dont know what to do. i need serious help? i need opinions on what i should do. he is now in a hospice and they said that if he is still living by the time we choose he can come out for the day and have paramedics and a nurse there if God forbid anything happens and he would only be able to go to the ceremony. i need serios help!

thanks i need helpful answers

oh yea and we were told this friday and my fiance has been crying and having breakdowns. i just dont know how to comfort him and my future mother in law is telling me to leeave, get out and this is a family thing.

I'm so sorry for this. I'm sure this is such a difficult time for you and your fiance--trying to be happy about the wedding, but worrying about your father in law's illness.

My mother in law seemed to be doing very well, even though the doctor gave her no more than 6 months (she had colon cancer). She lived 3 hours away, and my husband went to be with her every day he had off. I know it sounds terrible, but I was resentful that he was gone so much, mainly because my mother in law didn't seem that bad the few times I saw her. I think I was just in denial that she was as ill as she was. One weekend the entire family went over to see her. She seemed to get tired very easily, but other than that, she looked and seemed fine. My husband went back the following Wednesday, and called me Thursday morning to tell me she had passed away. I guess it is common for people with this horrible disease to get a "second wind" about a week or so before they die. It's so cruel. I felt so horrible for my husband, his siblings and for how I had been thinking. It had only been about 4 months since the doctor had said no more than 6 months.

If it were me, and this is just me, I would put the wedding plans on hold. Spend as much quality time as possible with him, and making happy memories for your fiance and his family. In my opinion, and again, this is just me, it's more important to have that time together than to stress out about planning a wedding that he may or may not be able to go to anyway.

Only you and your fiance will know what is best. Good Luck, and I'll keep you in my prayers.

Oh, my!! That is quite the situation. If it were me, and I felt that I wanted my fiance's Dad at my marriage, I would make arrangements to be married at his bedside at the hospice and celebrate with the reception when you planned.

I am sure that your fiance's mother is distraught over the situation and doesn't realize that she is hurting you by asking you to leave....after all you WILL be part of the family soon.

I hope all goes well for you. Good Luck!! This is a hard way to start a marriage.

yeah the best thing you could probably do is to move the date really soon

well, based on MY personal experience with someone this ill, i can say a few things.

1st, i would not change the date. why? this family, and yes, you are a part of this family, is scrambling already. the added stress of changing everything will not help.

you fmil is flipping her sh*t right now, and her saying something like that is not at all unusual. she's scared. you happen to be there. you are an easy target. it's not about you, but you're there, and she's freaking out. she's taking it out on you. right or wrong, i think it just is what it is. an apology later on wouldn't surprise me. she's very scared.

if you keep your wedding date the same, the whole family will have time to recover by then.

i'm sorry you're going through this. it must be very difficult for you. over the top sadness and over the top happiness with a wedding....what a roller coaster.

don't forget to breath once in a while. be there as much as you can, ut remember to take care of you too:)

Bless you and your FH's hearts. :(
Right now, the wedding is the last thing on anyone's mind. I think if I were you, I would take everything one day at a time and enjoy and cherish the last few months that you and your fiance have with him. I can see moving the wedding up tp June, but I wouldn't make it any earlier. Hope and pray that he makes it until then. With everything that is going on in your fiance's life, give him and his family the time and space they deserve. They are thinking about the here and now and the little time they have to spend with him, and not about the wedding in five month. You don't want to come off like you are more concerned about the wedding than your father in law (which I know is totally not the case). If you do decide to move the wedding up, make sure you are clear on the reason you are doing so. I hope everything works out and I am sorry to hear about your future father in law. Good luck!

My Mother is terminally ill, and probably won't be alive when my boyfriend and I get married next year, so I know what your fiance is going through. Right now, he's not thinking about the wedding, he's shocked, very sad, and terrified. Everything he ever envisioned about his future life is gone, and he feels lost, and probably feels more pressure about how to proceed with life-(more responsibility for his mom or siblings). This is scary, but most of all, he's just really shocked and sad. He will probably remain this way for months, or even the next year before he really gets a grip on reality, and he will never be the same-(not that he'll always be sad, it just changes a person to go through that). You need to use your best judgment in this situation. If he needs time alone, or with his family, let him have it. Leave his mother alone. If you sense that he needs you, be there. Don't bother him with questions, just walk up, hug him, and hold him. If he resists, let him go. Let him know you're there, but don't smother him. In a few days, when he calms down a little, offer to him and his mother to get married by a justice of the peace sooner if they would prefer, and then have the regular ceremony later. If they decline, it's ok. The truth is, his family does not care about the wedding right now, they're losing a loved one. I know this is your big day, and I understand your concern. The best thing to do is offer to get married by a justice of the peace if they would like, don't harp on it, understand if they decline, be there for him if he wants, and otherwise, let him come to you. If you're not sure what to do, put yourself in his position, think about what you would want, and go from there. I hope everything turns out the best for all of you. My thoughts and prayers are with you all.

I'm sorry about your future father in law.
I'm sorry but no one on yahoo answers will give you the answer you need because it's really YOU and your fiances.

IF I were in your shoes, I would have a Family only ceremony, ASAP. I would want my father in law there.

Talk to your fiance and your future father in law, you'll come up with the right thing to do.

This is a very difficult situation that I am sorry you and your fiance' have to face. There's only so much you can do, and only so much the doctors know. They're based in science, they cannot say when someone's going to die, they can only guess, and often their guesswork causes more problems than the patient had before. So many people have convinced themselves into death because a doctor told them they would die at such and such time. Others have survived, like my grandmother. They told her five times she only had a few months to live. Eight years later, she's still with us, and going strong. If possible, try for April. That way, if the doctor is right, you will have it as soon as possible.

How unfortunate! So sad for your fiance and his family. I think your best solution would be to ask your fiance what he wants to do. He may want to spend as much time with his dad as possible right now. Maybe you could have a little "pre-ceremony" ceremony at his bedside. This would ensure that he sees his son get married. You could technically get married early, but still do your whole church wedding, or whatever your plan was, later. And then just plan your wedding as you would have normally.

Again, I'd ask both your fiance and his mom what they would like to do. Don't make this decision on your own.

Good luck.