My grandmother.....?

last sunday my grandma was in the hospital for a urinary track infection and a bad cold....she was getting better supposibly.well i get a call yesterday to come to her nursing home where i learned that she had a stroke and that she was dying and the family had hospice involved.no IV's, no food, no insulin for her diabetes, just pain meds to keep her comfortable.i was so mad how did no one know and why did my family decide this. so i walk in her room last night and she is unresponsive except for squeezing my hand when i kissed her and tlkd to her. i was tld she ad 10 days.well i got a call at 3am this morning and i go to her room and she is barely breathing and within an hour she died in front of me. i couldnt leave her in her room and i waited outside for the hearse to take her body out. then i went in her room and my brother and i grabbed her pillowcase and plants and i sat in her room.i am so sad.she raised me for 10 years and she is gone. i am mad at my family for giving up.what can

i do. i want to yell and scream at them...i have bipolar and i feel like i cant take this. i love her so much and i dnt know what to do. i want to drink but am afraid it will hurt me with the meds...sorry to vent to everyone and write a book.

passing from this life leads to a new one and she is never gone as long as you hold her in your heart

was it her dying wish? DNR?

sorry for the lost

maybe your family thought they were doing the right thing, by telling you otherwise..or maybe they couldn't face what was happening themselves.

It's not giving up, it's having respect to let someone go. You can't have selfish thoughts about how this will affect you right now, just remember she led a good, fulfilling life.

Pray for her, and the rest of your family.

bless your heart... get some counseling and no drinking.. it will not make things better... and try to talk to your family it's possible that they may have a little more insight and will enlighten you with the details... good luck

=/ I'm sorry for your loss, I really am. Things like these happen in life and it really hurts, but you have to realize it's part of life, and because this has made such a deep impact on you, you've grown wiser. Wiser, so that one day when you're faced with a situation like that, and you have a higher authority, you can make a difference.

*hugs* hang in there.

I am so sorry for your lost, but there's really nothing you can do at this point except accept it. What you could do though is try to calmly talk to your family about the decisions they made and figure out why they were made. Then, try to come to terms with it, it's for the best. My condolences to you and your family. I lost my grandmother too for something that could've probably been prevented, so i know how you feel.

im so sorry hun, dont drink, it wont help, im glad your being smart, seeing as your taking meds,i guess now theres really nothing to do except to try and keep happy memories in you thoughs of you and her, im sure she wouldnt want you to be sad, its hard not to be and it will be for a while but pretty soon it will be easier to think of her and not feel sad, you'll feel happy about the memories you have. take care sweetie.

well my grandpa did that a few years ago and it was his choice are you sure that she didnt make the decision herself ....its hard to deal with but trust me hurting yourself is the last thing your grandma wants for you..... and i believe they are looking down on us so what you need to do now is make her proud and be the person she raised you to be good luck to you

hun i lost my husband 2 years ago he was in a lot fo pain an he was what is called DNR he was tired of fighting an trying ot stay alive in a world that the only thing he had left was tv as a pleaseure is it possible you are mad becuz you miss her body you still have the memories be happy she is no longer in pain hang in there

Your fustration is understandable, but there's probably really noone you can scream at for this situation. When the elderly get sick, they tend to degenerate very quickly. Their already frail bodies and failing immune systems can't handle the barrage of infections and bacterium and virii and they tend to succumb in weeks if not days.

If they were simply keeping her comfortable then your grandmother or your family issued a DNR order.

In the end, it was probably better for her, keeping her alive only meant she'd have to suffer more.

I'm not sure your question is! but I'm sooooooooooooooooo sorry about lossing your grandmother it is really tough loosing someone realy close to you!!Ishould know I just losst my Partner 3 weeks ago!! hang in there things will get better time heals all wonds!! Best of luck to you and your family!!!

that's so sad!!! i feel so bad!! why don't you write a poem? that helps me.

Im sorry jz pray 4 her n soon u will meet her again..

First
I am sorry to hear of the passing of your grandmother. Instances like these happen everyday for numerous reasons but this sounds like the family wanted to sheild you from reality but in the end it made you feel worse. The best thing to do is call your doctor in the morning and tell them how you feel and tell them you need some anti depressents if you are not already on them. The next thing to do is type a letter of how you feel and print a copy out and hand it to each member of your family that was involved. This way you will not yell at them and make them feel bad ad same with yourself. Over the next few weeks it is goign to b very difficult but just write down how you feel it make things better even though you may not feel that it is really helping.


I wish you and your family the best

Very soory to hear abt her.. . ..

i'm very sorry for ur loss.
u will be mad at everyone for awhile, its the way ur mind is reacting to protect urself from how sad u really are. this will pass and u will cry a lot, but soon after that u will know she is in a better place and not in pain n e more and u will know she wants u not to cry but to be happy and have a wonderful long life. maybe u will have a granddaughter like u someday, so what would u want for her? again im sorry for ur loss.

Its okay to feel hurt but you have to remember u r hurting all the people around you cause they r feelin sad too. Try and remember that she is still in your heart and noone can take her away from there. You could also talk to your mother about it.

WHAT????????? you're grandma went in for a simple UTI, and a cold.........Her hospital SUCK!!! seriously, this is happening where i live too in NY...........You probably have a lawsuit....

first of all, i am sorry for your loss.

you are being honest with your feelings. good. that is a first step, keep being honest. you will have to go through all the steps of grieving.

find a friend or family member to help you through the process. get off the computer, you need a real person to share your feelings with.

now the more medical stuff. often times, strokes just happen with no obvious signs. when a person is in the hospital for something specific, people will not be looking for signs of other things. it sucks, but that is the way it is.

as for your own medical issue. it is of utmost importance that you keep going with your medication otherwise this will get much much worse (i have a bipolar brother in law).

and finally, look around at the world around you. people are just going on with their lives with no regard for your feelings. however, in the same glance around remember to see life and see how beautiful it is.

best of luck.

Honey I'm sorry your grandmother passed away. It's hurts when love ones die. Get mad and scream and cry until you feel better.

Maybe your grandmother didn't won't to be put on machines in order to live. A lot of people don't believe in it. I personally wouldn't won't to live that way.
When people have bad stroke they don't get fed or anything like that...They are on feeding tubes. More then likely your grandmother had already told her family she didn't won't to live off a machine.

My grandfather laid in a bed for over a year after his stroke. He just wasted away. That's hard to watch! There isn't much anyone can do. Just sit and watch.

Talk to your family and ask them maybe after a talk you will feel better.
Hugs

I am sorry to hear of your loss.

Sometimes medical professionals will tell a family that the only thing that they can do is keep the person comfortable. This is because there is nothing else that can be done.

My grandmother had a stroke and was in the hospital for two days. The doctors told us there was nothing that could be done other than to keep her as comfortable as possible. It was just her time to go on and no matter how much we wanted to, there was no way to prevent her death.

It is always difficult to stand by and watch someone you love die. Try to remember all the good times you had with your grandmother and know that she has gone to a place where she will no longer have suffering.

sorry for your loss. :( but what i did when my uncle killed himself because he hated his family and they didn't treat him right, was keep my self in a room with a couple of snacks and watch romantic comedies. i loved him. he took me all sorts of places. i also watched some mysteries. it kept me thinking who dunnit? lol . for some reason, movies keep the human mind distracted from life. :) good luck!

see it happens with everybody !you love that person so much and it gets away from you.it has happened to me.but i didnt gave up .please4 your granny please dont drink cause she will feel bad and if you wanna scream scream but in your room .i am not joking seriously you will feel better .i am sorry for your grand mother.

What happened to your grandmother is a crying shame. I'm 65 and could never do that to anyone, and hope it never happens to me. I wish - well, there is nothing I can do, but I fully understand how you feel. I would feel the same. Try to remember the good times you had with her, and smile with her once again. By the way, there are NO answers in bottles. Just more problems. She was a good lady and sometimes good people find ways to stay in contact for a while with those they love, be it through dreams or little signs. She's just gone to another place, and in the fullness of time you'll see her again. Above all else, cherish the memory of her love.

Awww.. I'm so sorry for your loss.
My father died this summer. We knew ahead of time he did not want to prolong his life. He asked us specifically not to hook him up to anything that might prolong his suffering. One day he was dehydrated and was taken to the hospital. It was the hardest thing in the world for my mother to tell them not to give him an IV. But that's what he wanted. He lived a good, fulfilling life, and didn't want to be a vegetable towards the end.
We all knew this, and as hard as it was to say goodbye to him, we did everything within our power to give him his wish.

Sometimes it's just better to let them go. As hard as it is to say goodbye. Sometimes we need to realize that we want them around here for our own needs. We should understand that when people are ready to go, they should go. Being an old woman after having a stroke is not a good life.

Right now it's a little hard to see it, but I think you will eventually see that she ended her life in the best possible way. She was not sick for a long period of time, and she had her favorite granddaughter next to her. That's how I'd like to go.

I am so sorry for your loss.
It's always hard to lose a loved one.

When my grandmother passed away, it was her wish.
She was in a lot of pain, had lived a long life, and just wanted release. Your grandmother may have wanted the same...

I understand that you are mad at your family, but this is when you need them most, to support one another when one is lost.
Please find a way to deal with your grief, even through anger, because it isn't healthy to ignore or bottle it up.

Again, I'm sorry for your loss.
Honour her by doing something in her memory, and remember -she will always live on through your stories, actions, and thoughts.

Take care.

I WAS IN A SIMILAR SITUATION WITH MY GRANDMOTHER SO I KNOW EXACTLY HOW YOU FEEL. IT WAS VERY HARD FOR ME. YOU SHOULD JUST TAKE IT ONE DAY AT A TIME THINGS WILL GET BETTER

Please accept my sympathy in the loss of your wonderful, loving Grandmother. You will be sad for a while, and you will always remember the good times you shared.
Your grandmother had several very serious health issues. There are times the doctors do not know a persons true condition. Babies and older adults oft times suddenly get very ill.
It is good you were able to be with your grandmother and talk with her.
Things that will help you are: go for a walk, drink more water, eat your meals at scheduled times, have a quiet time, get more rest, and exercise.
If you want to cry or scream do it in the bathroom with the shower on or out at a park. This will help your anger. Anger is one of the things we experience when a loved one dies.
The first year is difficult, but it will get better with time as a healer.