Should I trust the hospice nurse?

My grandma is 73, and was just diagnosed with lung cancer, copd, and pad, about a month ago. She decided that it was too far advanced to do anything, and just wanted to stay home and be with us. We got hospice coming to our house, and my grandma did okay for a while. Then About a week ago, she got to where she completely lost her appitite, and couldnt even lay down, cause she would cough and stuff, and she was scared. They increased her nebulizer treatments and stuff, and her oxygen, but her oxygen level got really low, and she got a really high fever. So the nurse said one lung was collapsed and the other was failing, so the nurse wanted to increase the morphine, so she just sleeps. She's been sleeping for like 4 days now, she woke up for a little while, and she started screaming and saying she was in so much pain she couldn't stand it and she hurts all over. She started moaning and grunting, and then gasping for air, and it was like 15 seconds between breaths. But then she's been

She's been getting better, her blood pressure dropped, but then it raised again, and her breathing is even, and her oxygen level is like 87%. I'm just wondering, if she wasn't so full of pain medicine, and was awake, would she be okay, are we just killing her or something? The nurse said she would be miserable and in pain beyond belief, and she's been a nurse for like 30 years, and is the main nurse, but i'm just so worried.

As the family caregiver of a hospice patient, and also having friends who were in the same situation as your grandmother, I say that she is in very good hands with the Hospice team. Especially when breathing gets difficult, that can be scary to the patient which puts them in a cycle of even more difficulity, so morphine is given to relax them. That is VERY common and VERY humane. Not having the morphine would be putting the patient into stress and pain that could otherwise be avoided, or at least minimized. So....listen to your nurse and all the people who have posted here. Be thankful that we live in a time where we do have the meds that can ease the pain and stress of end of life situations. It will make your grandmother sleep, but that's GOOD. Sleep means no pain, no anxiety.

You need to believe what the hospice nurse is telling you! Hospice is a wonderful organization and they do know what they are doing!! I know this is a very hard time for you........but they are there to keep your grandmother as comfortable as possible because her wishes were to die at home. Let them do what they know how to do and trust in them.

She knows EXACTLY what she's doing and what should be done.
Trust her implicitly!

I would say yes, she did do the right thing.
When I first started reading this, I thought it was going to be a "euthanasia" type question.
I am glad your grandmother is doing better.
My mother died of lung cancer. So be brave, and very supportive. She needs all the support she can get at this time.

I think your nurse has your grandmom's best interest at heart. I am a hospice volunteer and have worked with the nurses, social workers, chaplains, doctors and families just like yours and we all have your grandmom in our prayers, irregardless of your location. Your care and fears are normal. Sometimes there is not a good fit between particular nurse and a particular family. If you feel this is the case I suggest you speak to the social worker or chaplain. Another nurse may then be assigned if you wish. They have good listening hearts.

Blessings and Peace