Fantasy about unprotected sex is ruining my sex life!?

This isn't just some stupid joke question, it's actually a serious question, so please don't think i'm just messing about - i'm honestly asking for advice, this problem is driving me nuts.

When I first started having sex with my boyfriend I thought condoms were really great - just having them out was a turn-on just because I knew it was going to lead into sex. However, recently things have changed.

I started to think a lot about having sex without a condom. I'm on the pill but my boyfriend won't even think about the idea - he wants to keep sex totally safe and child-free! I don't want a baby, but I do want sex without a condom.

I even had a dream that I was being examined by a male nurse, and we just started having sex - and the most erotic thing for me was that it was condom-free.

I just like the spontieity & the idea that we're actually touching down there, and him coming inside me, it's a real turn on.

It's started 2 be all I can think about, what can I do?

The pill is very effective against birth control - more effective than a condom. Make sure your boyfriend knows this. Also, go get checked for STD's - just to make sure. Then, you know, as long as you take your pill strictly, that it's safe to have sex without a condom.

Personally, I think it's nice that your guy is being responsible.

u really need to respect his decision- but talk to him about how u feel and really try to get through to him

If your boyfriend absolutely refuses to have sex without a condom then maybe it's time to move along.

You can call me :)

Find somebody who has a clean bill of health and try it out. You and only you can be the judge.

Well tell him he dont get it unless you get it the way you want.

both of you get tested for AIDS. Then go have fun.

then find a dirty hoe thats clean and do it.

If you use non-lubricated condoms, you (meaning women) won't be able to tell the difference between having one or not. You're just not that sensitive down there.

You should also consider the fact that your boyfriend probably won't be able to last as long without a condom, as the direct skin contact will arouse him much more quickly.

I suggest the Kimono brand if you can get them. Non-lubricated and very thin.

seems like you are starting to get bored with the sex you are getting from your bf. And thats the reason why you are getting this kind of thoughts. Safe sex is always great and im sure both of you can find ways so that you wont have the thoughts that you are having right now.

i know what you mean, you feel closer to the person and its actually real sex. well you are on the pill and your man aint doin the job, find someone else!!!!

um break up with him he is a total *****

Control yourself. Your bf is doing the right thing. You say I don't want a baby but...like its no big deal. Kids are a lifetime commitment and if I was your bf and you pushed the issue I would simply quit having sex with you at all. Basically what I'm saying is get over it and get a grip on yourself. You make it sound like you are some helpless slave to your fantasies. If you think you are grown up enough to be having sex then you should be grown up enough to have some self control too, thats what being a grown up is. Making decisions not based on fantasies or what you want at that moment but making them based on whats good for your life.

You should try talking to your boyfriend and telling him exactly how you feel, and hopefully he will understand. If you are on the pill, you can still have "child free" sex. It will in fact be more enjoyable. Assure him that you really like the idea of sex without the condum. If you are afraid of getting pregnant, just avoid having him *** inside you, that should work. Good Luck!

Glad to hear you're being safe. If you're insistant on him not wearing a condom , go and get a female condom. You'll be safe and feel him at the same time.

Track your menstral cycle... take the pill... have the unprotected sex either right after or just before the cycle. That should convince him it is safe!

just tell him to pull out. thats what me and my boyfriend do, but he wont wear one at all now.

yeah, you need to respect his decision and realize that he's doing it for you. He wants to be absolutely certain you're not going to get pregnant (even though you cant be absolutely sure unless youre abstinent, but he cares enough about you that he wants you to be safe. :) Sounds like a good guy to me)

Have you tried being open with your boyfriend about his reasons for wanting to have protected sex with a condom even though you are already on the pill? The question is - how monogamous and satisfying is your sexual relationship?

I have learned that in some cases men are really just safe and are scared of getting a girl pregnant or they are guilty because they do have something and they care about you and don't want to pass it on! sex without condoms is fun but i just got pregnant and now i am really regretting it and i was on the pill so really think about if you are ready to take the responsibility of having a kid cause its hard

If you are old enough then get married and have all the unprotected sex you want. But if you still in school, STOP now. Even using a condom will not always protect you from STD or AIDS

I know it is tough. I don't like using condoms either. I would use them still just to be on the safe side. I know I have had condoms break on me and I hated not feeling her and her feeling me. But I am married now and I we don't use anything and it feels awesome.

birth control is 97-99% effective. try the shot thats just once a month

my idea is that you go to a gyno, inform yourself very well at what time of the month is a woman ready to have a baby, as i was told it is only 2 days every month -- but the idea of safe sex is not bad at all, especially if you are seeing somebody else than boyfriend

Well if you wanna play the safe route you both should go get checked out first. Once everything is cool start playing little sex games like put a condom on him and suck it and just be like "it would feel much better if it was off." Or strip for him or play with yourself in front of him, I mean anything to get him turned on and make him want it. Then just be like "I would just do your brains out right now but that condom of yours totally kills the mood." I guarantee he couldn't take it and that would be some bomb *** sex right there.

Having those feelings are normal. My husband and I always wear a condom every time we have sex, just in case, but I always feel like something is missing. What you need to do is really communicate with your boyfriend. Just tell him why you want it, and try to think of a way it would work. Talk to your doctor, perferably a female (ah, sorry. Couldn't resist). There has to be something you can do. Email me for more info if you want.

nightschild789 at gmail.com

Respect your boyfriends' wishes. Maybe if you talk it over with him, and both get tested, and then after everything comes back clear, get it on bareback. But, if you go outside the relationship it will ruin everything, and you will probably be disappointed, or alone in the end. And there is nothing wrong with having fantasies.

Try telling him you'll let him f u c k your a s s without a condom. Its hot, no babies, and if your both clean then its safe as a weekend at church camp.

Tell him to quit being a wus and just do it. He'll love it!

well,if that's a closed issue in his side and that you truly love him,respect&accept that.He's trying to level with you by meeting up with your sexual demands but just that no-condom is a thing he's just not ready yet as you never know accidents can happen...
It's very mature of him to be very definite about that I find..it just prove how responsible he is and doesn't dare risk and be reckless which is good for you in the long run.

Your sexual urges you can control so try another option like doing it in those battery operated sex toys for instance that way you won't insult the manhood of your guy and lose him eventually.

Just a piece of thought....

Girl I know how you feel but these days you have to be extra extra careful and if you don't want to have a baby or disease right now you better take the extra precaution, better safe than sorry. If you can't, then move on to someone who will, but be warned it's at your own risk and most likely you will be the one that suffers the consequence.