I have been sexually active since the age of 14, and I am now 19 - that makes me overdue for my first pap smear.
Unfortunately, I have a rather large fear of doctors and have never had a good experience with a GP or nurse, and don't find I can talk to them about anything, at all. (I usually go with someone who talks in my place) I once had to be restrained by three nurses to have a simple injection, I fear medical procedures.
It's not the pain, it's not the fact that I can't be dealing with male nurses, it's not the fact that it's even an uncomfortable procedure - it's the fact I'm a private person and can't stand the thought of anyone who I don't get on with staring at my most private parts.
I just know that I would go so far as getting an appointment, arriving, then as soon as they ask me to do anything I'll scream and bolt out of the door. I've done it before. Just thinking about it drives me to tears of frustration.
I need help and advice to deal with this situation.
Thanks. For those of you who have said I will 'have' to deal with it, I've considered that and I know I really should deal with it, but the point is unless I'm tied to a table I can see myself running off and not having to deal with it at all, since nobody can physically make me.
It's hard, and I don't really know what to do about it. But all of the comments so far have helped a little. Thanks. Unfortunately you are just going to HAVE to deal with it!! Once you get it done you wont have to worry about it for at least another year (maybe 2). Just keep in mind that its something that could SAVE YOUR LIFE!!
Here is what will happen... (just in case you dont know). When you get in the room they will ask you to undress (everything except your socks) and put a gown on that you will tie in the FRONT!
Once the doctor gets in the room he will ask you to lie down on the examination table. They will do the "boob test" first. LOL They will have you put your hands above your head and feel around on your breasts to make sure that you dont have any lumps or whatnot. Then that part is OVER!! (Whew!)
You will then scoot down until you feel like your butt is about to fall off the table! You will put your feet in the stirrups and let your legs "fall" apart (he/she will ask you to try and "relax!" yeah right.. but the more you relax, the less it will hurt!)
He/she will "lubricate" what I like to call the "duck beak." LOL Its a metal instrument that looks like a duck beak. They will lube it up and then insert it. Once it is inserted, it will be "opened" up to allow the doc access to do the pap smear! He/she will then take what looks like a long q-tip and swab your cervix. This MAY hurt unfortunately! (I, myself, have a VERY sensitive cervix and when "smeared" it ALWAYS feels like someone is poking me with a sharp, hot poker... luckily it takes all of 5 seconds and its done!) That part is now done!
He/she will then remove the "duck beak" and do the other part of the exam with his/her fingers. He/she will lube up thier gloved fingers and insert them, feeling around inside of you . This is to make sure that you have no cysts and that everything is in its "proper place!" Its not TOO bad except for the fact that you feel like you are being VIOLATED by a stranger!! (Not too fun AT ALL!) Once that part is finished YOU ARE DONE!!! He/she will give you some paper towels or kleenex's and let you clean yourself up and get dressed!
The WHOLE procedure takes at MOST about 5 minutes!! I KNOW that it SUCKS but think about it.... 5 minutes of a little pain, a LOT of embarrassment and being very uncomfortable could SAVE YOUR LIFE!!
What I would suggest is to bring someone that you TRUST with you. This could be your mom, a friend, even a boyfriend (if you feel comfortable with that!) They can stand up by your head and hold your hand the whole time. There will be a paper "blanket" covering the bottom half of your body so if they stay up by your head they wont be able to see a THING (except when they check your breasts).
Also, what I used to do was bring a portable cd player and some headphones, close my eyes and just go to my "happy place" and BREATHE until it was over!! It made it a BIT easier to deal with! Another thing that you could think about is asking the doctor to prescribe you a few xanex that you could take about 1/2 hour BEFORE you go to have your pap done! This should relax you a bit more and make you less likely to "BOLT!" LOL Just make sure that someone else is there to drive you there and back home so that you arent driving on xanex!
I hope that I was able to help a little and that everything goes well! I am sure that it will!! Take care and Good luck!
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PS: I MUST respond to some of the idiots answering this question! First of all... it does NOT matter WHAT age you were before you STARTED having sex. Being "legal" wouldnt make it any LESS necessary to have a pap every year!! ALL women regardless of when they started having sex (or even if they are currently sexually active) are at RISK of ovarian cancer! Even widows or women who arent sexually active anymore are still encouraged to continue getting regular check ups!
Also... a pap does NOT rule out ALL STD's. All it rules out are things like Ovarian cancer, PRE-cancerous cells, HPV and a few others (gonnarhea, herpes, etc) . For everything else you will need to get a STD test (which is usually a blood test)... this will test for things like Clamydia, HIV, and MANY more!
One more thing and then I will shut up. And I am simply saying this b/c I am just sick to DEATH of people judging others. The question was about the FEAR she has of a pap.... there was NO QUESTION about "what we think" of her choices on sex! She (you) didnt ask for ANYONE'S opinion of the fact that she started having sex at 14!! Hell... I had sex at 15 for the first time (as did MANY other girls I knew... freshman/sophomore year of high school!!) Dont act like its this HUGE taboo b/c truthfully even 18 yrs ago it was pretty damn common!!! Why not take a look at your OWN life and some of the choices and mistakes YOU may have made b4 judging this girl!!! YOU (the responders) are NOT completely innocent and YOU have NOT been perfect your whole life! So quit the judging!!
As my mom always said, "If you dont have anything nice to say then say nothing at all!!"
(Sorry for "preaching," Katy, I just get REALLY irritated when people are so judgemental!!) as for a female to do it you cant put it off it takes 5 mins of uncomfortable ness and could save your life take a friend who loves you dearly and has your best interests at heart with you, if you try for the door they will try and help you at this point, it is very important to look after yourself as much as possible. Write down all your fears and worries, and write down that you would like something to help you relax just before the procedure.show it to your doctor and you should find that they are sympathetic. I know how you feel hun. i am the same im lot older than you and i wont go for mine.
You need to go to make sure there is nothing there and if there is its better its found early and treated. My friend had something and it was sorted and treated before it developed into something worse.
If you dont go then like me you will just have to live with the bigger fear that there is something there that could have been treated.
Once you have gone the fear will go if you dont you will have to live with this fear and trust me its not nice.
Be brave and go. Not to be mean, but if you've been letting guys probably see down there especially since you were basically a child why not let a doctor see? I'd rather deal with it and make sure your healthy in that area especially if you've been with more than one guy (i'm not saying you have i'm just stating a fact) Anyway good luck Look I know how you feel.
I too had this problem and I let my smear go way overdue.
But then I read an article about how many woman's lives are saved for just a few embarrassing moments and decided there and then to do it.
It took 5 Min's and wasn't half as bad as I expected.
Don't get me wrong, I'm not looking forward to the next time but I will be making that appointment when its due.
Deep breath..your a big girl now!! I'm 23 and only went for my first one when I was 21, I had the same problem as you. The best advise someone gave me was too leave your pride at the door and pick it up on the way out (you know what I mean?). They have seen it all before and worse, just try not too panic, It's really important to get it done though, good luck x Go to a female ob/gyn!
I had the same fears. My doctor (female) has helped me overcome those fears. I felt exactly the same way with my first smear. It is embarassing having to undress and spread your legs in front of a total stranger, but remember they do this every day and see hundreds of vaginas, so it's really no big deal to the nurse/ doctor.
It is worse thinking about it than the actual reality. When you arrive try not to think about it too much in the waiting room - relax and read a magazine. When you are called through the nurse will chat to you and you can go behind a curtain to undress. They will then ask you to lie up on the couch and place a cloth over your legs. I have not had to put my legs in stirrups, I just lie back and they ask you to draw up your knees and spread your legs. The exam doesn't hurt and i hardly even feel the speculum going in. It is all over and done with in a couple of minutes, then you are dressed and out of there!
It may help to take a friend to go in with you for moral support/ to hold your hand.
Try not to put it off any longer, i promise it's not that bad and you will feel much better knowing you have been checked out. It's ok to be scared about this. Getting a pap smear can be uncomfortable and embarassing. You're not wrong to feel this way.
When I was 16, I had my first pap smear and I had my mom come with me because i was so scared.
Now I have my pap smears done by the nurse practioner at my doctor's office. She's very nice and very professional. She knows what it's like to be a woman and to have a pap smear herself...so she knows how to make people feel more at ease.
The most important thing is that you have it done....because if they find something wrong it's better to find it sooner rather than later.
Also, if you feel like you can't trust your nurse and doctor...it's ok to find a new one to go to. If you feel that uncomfortable about it, then :do not have sexual relationships, these are strangers in contact with your most private parts, and that is when you should scream . As for Doctors visits, taking an aspirin or some Aleve, would help to settle you down some, the Pap smear is only uncomfortable for a few minutes, and the test results are important to detect any sign of cervical cancer, which can occur when one is having sexual relationships with many partners. Think about it your fear is just misplaced. Place your fear it in the right circumstance, and the problem will be solved. Fear the sexual relationship. I presume you are not married. omg...i was THE SAME way. i am 19 now..and just went in in dec. for my first one! omg i was sooo scared my heart was going so fast..lol that worried the doctor. But i just tryed to avoid eye contact lol. Actully when i was sitting there in my little paper shirt lol and she was talking to me...i was not that bad...lol. She knew i wass nervous and was just like talking to me about normal stuff. like what i was going to school for and stuff. and it really got my mind off of what she was going. It took about 2 min. and belive me, lol these people have seen ALOT worse than you think...lol. Soo i would say...i would say...it is NOT that bad when you are actully DOING IT...rather than just thinking about it. Basically we are the same person. I am a horrible patient, and thats okay. I'm grown up now but I know exactly what you are going through.
You definitely need to have a Pap, and you need to do it every year, if you are uncomfortable with male nurses, doctors. Thats fine, tell them that. They understand and they will make the arrangements.
Tell them that you have white coat syndrome, you are afraid of doctors, they understand that too!
Have your appointment early in the morning so you don't have time to get all worked up about it, wear sweats so you will be comfortable, and take a funny book to read, or a gameboy so you won't think about it in the waiting room.
The nurse will come and get you and take you to the room. she will take your blood pressure, weigh you and do all the usuals. She will get you a paper vest and a paper sheet. Ask he how long it will be before the doctor is in, if it will be a while ask her to let you know when the doctor will be closer to coming in so you won't be sitting there freezing in your paper. This is something had to learn.
You might want to take a small blanket if you tend to be cold.
You will change into your vest ( opening in the front) and sit on the table with the paper over the top of your lap.
The doctor will ask you to lay back with your hands behind your head, and she will feel your breasts, checking for lumps or abnormalities. This really isn't that bad, and the doctor doesn't usually look at your breasts, she usually looks at your face and talks to you.
After she is done with both sides they will adjust the table and pull out the stirrups. I like to leave my socks on. :-)
you will scoot to the end of the table until you feel like you are going to fall off. the doctor will sit at the end of the table pretty much between your legs, and they will shine a warm light on you, this is what I like to think about, the warm light, and that it feels like the sun on the beach. Cheesy, but it works.
The doctor will then do your exam, and it is uncomfortable, but it does not hurt. The deeper you breathe, and the more you think about the sun the less you feel. After the doctor is done she will insert her fingers and feel your ovaries. this is the strangest part for me, but its not bad.
Its okay to take someone with you, they might even be able to go into the room with you and stand by your head and talk to you. some doctors won't allow it but some will. My little sister went with me the first time, and I'm sure she was more afraid than I was.
Be open with your doctor. Remember that they are people too!
Good luck, you will be fine. Its only once a year, and take the rest of the day and loaf around on the couch and paint your nails!
If you have any more question email me :-) Yea, it really is only 10 minutes and its not that bad. They arent getting off at looking at your provate parts. And you can request all female nurses if you want.
try some breathing excercises before going in to relax you. Tell the nurse your fears and she may be able to hol your hand through it.
seriously, you HAVE to get it done, so buck up and just do it. Its not that scary, it doesnt hurt, and no one is thinking twice about your private parts. Have you though about a mid wife? They are usually more personable than a doctor and in my experience, tend to take the time to care. The are usually older women with alot of life experiences and are certified to do almost everything a doctor could do. I used one when I was pregnant and the difference was very noticeable between her and the last obgyn I had.
So I would look into that, and also bring a friend whom you trust to come along with you. Before you get to the office, you could discuss with the nurse that you have a fear of doctors and was wondering if there was some way you could go in an discuss with the doctor/mid wife exactly what is going to happen, what you might be afraid of, and how you can handle it.
In all reality it only takes 5 minutes, it is not painful..just uncomfortable a little...but they try to be gentle and fast. Since you have been sexually active for so long, and not being checked for STDs I say it is a must that you find a way for this to happen. Many STDs have no symptoms so the only way to be sure is to get tested. It is also important to be aware of breast cancer and go for regular check ups for that as well.
Good luck and I hope this helps. The best thing I could suggest is make an appointment just to get to talk to the doctor. Find out if you are comfortable with the person--if not, find another doctor. I had an old lady at mine when I went and it was more comfortable because I knew she wasn't "checking me out" persay. I understand you don't want someone staring at your most private parts--I'm not too fond of that either. The best advice I can give, really, is to set up a pre-appointment and talk to the person to see if you feel comfortable around them. Your pap test should be a comfortable thing. You should know you're doing something good for your body (especially if you've been sexually active since 14). Good luck, dear! you've only yourself to blame. if only you'd waited until until the legal age limit you wouldn't be doing this. i often wonder about some people......
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don't get angry just because im right lol surely you don't think that 14 is a suitable age!? no, sorry you must have done. anyway that's a different matter. you are way overdue! you should have had one before you you considered becoming sexually active or very soon after your first sexual encounter. you can always request female staff. i always do. it's more comfortable knowing she has the same parts as i do and really understands what women go through. take your mom or best friend with you to hold your hand and talk you through it. if you take deep breaths and think positive thoughts, it really goes quick and off you go back to normal life. just do it. once it's done, it's done and you don't have to think about it again for another year. just do it! I just set my appt for next Fri @ 3p! It's over b4 u know it. Make sure u get a really good professional doctor. My first time the doctor talked to me and made me feel a lot more at ease. She told me all of what should would be doing when she and when she was doing it. Take a deep breath and once you let it out it'll b over. But I can't tell u how important it is to go get it done. Especially since your having sex and over the age of 18 . It could be a life saver. well if you would like to find out if you have any std's(some don't show symptoms) or even possible cancer cells... you need to go to the dr. so i guess its up to you if you want to know or not!!! from were i am from the age of smear test has gone up to 25 ....... i wouldnt worry about it , you dont seem to be a shy person if you started having sex before 16 , so you managed to deal with sex okay then ? | 