LADIES...Please Need Your Opinion...Guys too. About WIfe's Gyno!!!?

I love my wife dearly and we got married in May of this year. I trust her completely...never had any reason not too. I trust her right now. My concern is with a couple remarks my wife made last night about her exam with her gynocologist. The following is what she told me.

Her appointment was at 9:30am. She arrived ontime and the nurse or assistant took her to an examining room and had her undress. Her gynocologist didn't arrive until about 10:00am and she heard him talking with his female staff. He was searching for a particular music CD. They found it. My wife said, "you'll never believe what he put on." It was a Barry White album and the first song was "Let's get it on!!!". Anyhow, during the examination my wife told me he started talking about how bad he wanted to divorce his wife. He went on and on about wanting out of the marriage as he examined my wife. When I heard this I was shocked at what I considered unprofessional behavior...Read below for more, please

Anyhow, I told my wife that I thought it was very unprofessional for a doctor to discuss his desire to divorce his wife to a patient. She didn't agree. I guess I got both mad and jealous that she didn't see one thing wrong with his behavior. If you were me, how would you have reacted or handled this information. I went to bed mad, because we had opposite opinions on this doctor's examination room behavior. If I reacted inappropriately, let me know and I will apologize to my wife as soon as I get home. If you feel otherwise, please tell me your personal opinion on this matter. Thank You!!!

You really should be so grateful she openly told you about the incident even if she didn't react the way you thought she should. You should trust in her ability to handle the situation in the way she needed to. Guess what, maybe next time she will be hesitant to tell you things. This is how openess breaks down and eventually the relationship, I can testify to this first hand. I was a completly loyal partner for 14 years, always telling my ex of incidences, but his riduculous insecurity and jealousness eventually pushed me to the point of no return. Yes the doctor was totally innapropriate overstepping professional boundaries, but it is your wife's decision to take it further or not. Tell her you appreciate her honestey and it is because you love her so much that you overreacted and you will try to understand her next time.

I think she should find a new doctor. He sounds a little too friendly.

That sounds very strange indeed. Perhaps your wife read into it wrong. Maybe the music is for the office period. My gyno talks no stop about his life and his travels and his photography. They talk alot to calm down the patient. Its not fun with your legs up in stirrups trust me. I dont think the position is very erotic at all. I think maybe she read into it. But as the lady previously says find a new gyno.

Your wife should of raised hell and walked out.

doesnt sound very professional to me...are you sure she wasnt trying to kid around with you? i am sorry, i can hardly believe that! but you did not act wrong...i would have been pissed too, and my husband would have kicked him in the you-know-what

that sounds cool, he was just freindly and your wife must b easy going and nice
chillax, dont worry bout itxxxxxxxx

i just read your additional details, us women hate our hubbies getting jealous, cos you should trust us, nothing happened there, go and give your wife a huge kiss and stop being paranoid, beleive me-- he did nothing wrong- especially if your wife thinks so too, trust her

I agree, it's not very professional at all for him to talk about personal things with her or any other patient. It would have creeped me out. And honestly, I've never heard of a doctor choosing a music CD right before he goes in for an exam. That office must not be very busy.

That is kind of weird. When I go to visit my gyno, he doesn't play music but we do talk. We talk about kids, the weather and what jokes we have both recently heard that were pretty good. But, he does this so that I am not stressing out during the exam. There is also a nurse in the room during the entire exam and there should have been a nurse in the room when your wife had hers. Doctors always strike up conversations with their patients to put them at ease but I think it was inappropriate for him to be telling your wife about his marital troubles. Honestly, I would have laughed had my gyno played that song. There is nothing sexy about having your yearly check up with the gyno.

Well, I have to agree with you. I don't think you should fuss about the CD he chose Barry White is a fabulous musician with amazing vocals so never mind that. But the whole discussion of his personal life with a patient does seem unprofessional, to some women it may have even been interpreted as a come on....think about it, what has he got to gain by talking about his marriage failing with other women? You got it he is playing the sympathy card...you're a man I am sure you know this play.

She's teasing you. Next time, tell her you want to play doctor with her...Then have her be the doctor with you the patient.. Loosen up guy!

She should find a new doctor. She is a bit niave...naive... Please keep us updated.

The music was just for the office. I don't think it had anything to do with your wife. Now in regards to the conversation, he didn't do anything inappropriate. My OB/Gyn and I always chit chat about random things. Marriage and divorce has been a topic we've covered. Nothing wrong with that. Your wife was not touched inappropriately and he made no apparent advances towards her. If you can find a doctor that you can trust and he trusts you enough to talk about personal issues, you've got a great doc/patient relationship. Good for her. I can understand why you may have gotten a little jealous and angry but you have to let it go and apologize to your wife.

i think u should find out who his wife is and let her know about his behaviour and start some dramas in his life.sounds to me he could be trying to pick woman up on the side without his wife knowing about it.but dont let it cause issues with your wife its not like she was playing the music

I agree with you and feel the doctor's behavior was inappropriate but I don't think it's something for you and your wife to fight about. You disagree on the subject, so just let it go. If you feel the doc was putting the moves on your wife and that she can't see this or she enjoys it, then you should say that to your wife. The clearer you make your stance known, the more she'll understand. No man wants another man up inside his wife playing "let's get it on" (and by the way, Marvin Gaye sings that song, not Barry White) and talking about how he wants out of his marriage. Your wife should understand this. But you also have to be clear as to why you object. Hey, that was easy!

No;u were not wrong to feel the way you have felt. It is kind of odd and what is he upto? How can your wife be unable to see that?
But what I advise you is just sit down with her and talk of things.Let her be in your shoes and decide if u were facing this thing from a woman doctor somehow.

This is not normal bed-side manner! I can't understand why your wife would not be upset at him for behaving this way. I would be very leary of him and find a new doctor, preferably female, but you are going to have to trust your wife on this.

At the end of the day it is your wife's decision on what doctor she wants to go to. Maybe next time you could go with her, and see for yourself. But, you can not expect her to change doctor because you are jealous.

I don't know how mad or jealous you should be. How long has she been seeing this doctor? Has he delivered any of your kids? Has she had any major surgeries? Sometimes doctors and patients spend a lot of time together and get comfortable talking about their lives. As long as he was appropriate in the medical aspect and he is a good doctor and your wife wasn't uncomfortable than I wouldn't be upset.

He wants to do her, and she likes it

Yeah, unprofessional. I don't want my doctor discussing anything but medical terms while he's got his hand up my hoohoo or feeling my breasts.
Now if you've built that type of relationship with your doctor and he mentioned this in his office then that would be a different story.
The Barry White thing, thats just funny.

If this doctor was a friend of the family or a friend of your wife's, then I could understand him talking to her about his personal life. Other than that, he should keep things on a professional level.

Some office walls aren't that thick, so it's no wonder she heard him talking to his staff. Did your wife ask him if everything was OK? That may have started his conversation. Your wife may have thought it nice that he trusted her enough to tell her about his problems.

This isn't something you should continue to be upset about, though. I hope you two make up soon. Good luck!

well i can only say for myself being a Nurse i leave whats going on in my personal life with my hubby at home. its just unprofessional to take this kind of laundry to your work place and air it out with anyone especially a patient . i think your right he was out of line .

This is one of those situations where no one is right or wrong. I understand how you feel and you have every right to feel uncomfortable with what happened. And I think your wife needs to see it from your point of view.

Being at the gynecologists is a very uncomfortable expereience and some doctors do what they can to make it as pleasant as it can possible be. I suppose that is what the music was for. (His song choice was inappropriate) As far as him talking about divorcing his wife, it really does just depend on how comfortable you are with your doctor. It's hard to say if there was more too it than just innocent chatter.

Do you have the right to be upset? Yes you do. Any man would. Talk to your wife again and try not to have attitude. Just talk to her. See if she can see it from your point of view. Suppose you went to a female doctor for something and she started playing Marvin Gaye's Sexual Healing and was talking to you about how unhappy she was in her relationship. How would your wife feel about that?

Sometimes we don't see things as a big deal until we turn the tables and think what if this happened to my spouse? how would I feel? I think if she looks at it from your point of view, she should understand why you were upset even if it was completely innocent. I think she should talk to her doctor the next time she sees him and tell him how his behavior made her a little uncomfortable and if he could choose more appropriate music and not talk about his relationships with her. This should take care of the situation. No good doctor want to make his patients uncomfortable.

Good luck to you both. I hope everything works out. Don't worry. She loves you and if it meant anything to her at all, she wouldn't have even told you about it.

Good grief! I don't think that this situation was big enough for you to go to bed mad. Just because you and your wife have different opinions doesn't mean it calls for war! I agree with you that it wasn't professional for the doctor to share his personal life with his patient. But, I'd also agree that it wouldn't be right for you to share your marital life with people you work with, but I'll bet you have. In fact, I'll bet you'll go into work tomorrow (if you haven't already) and discuss this very thing to God and everyone else at work. Gocha!

This is Poof's wife.... Here's the detail in correct order. I did arrive on time, he was late. I could hear everything thru the walls, and he asked a nurse to put on music... nothing unusual for his office to have music on. He did ask for that specific song. As soon as he came into my room, he went back out and changed the cd. We talked extensively about my serious medical issues and he left for me to undress for the physical exam.
He came back, with his nurse again, and started to examine me. Another nurse knocked on the door and said he had a phone call from his wife. He left to answer it. I could hear his conversation with her, and he ended the call with "I love you".
When he returned, he was steaming mad with her, and proceeded to tell his nurse that he was mad. I interjected some comment, and the conversation started on his wife. We discussed the fact that if it was bad enough to leave, I said he should go. We also discussed that he felt that his wife was financially irresponsible, and that if he divorced her, that his child would end up with her..... What would his child have to endure living with her, and that I felt he had rights as the father. He told me that his only right as the dad was the right to pay child support...This man was NOT examining me at the time of the conversation.
The other nurse knocked again, and stated that the person in exam 1 was waiting. We immediately ended the conversation, and he proceeded with my physical exam.
I told my husband this info because I found the song thing funny.... I was NOT offended by his actions at all. I have had many conversations about medical issues and personal issues with this Dr and his staff. I know who has the bounced checks, who has too many people in the house with only one bathroom.... etc. I find his ability to talk about personal items calming. Especially when I'm in there, to put my feet up in the stirrups, and have him examine me.
Needless to say, Poof went off on a tirade over what I told him..... it went on for hours....

your wife needs a different doctor,there have been a lot of doctor that have gotten romantically with there patients,technically when a doctor is with a patient,there has to be a nurse there also,in case of a lawsuit.his unethical behavior should be reported to the American board of doctors, this guy wants something from your wife and it is not money.a doctor especially a gynecologist should not be discussing his personal problem with your wife