Cry it out method - how does it work and how long do they cry?

it kills me to hear my baby cry but she wakes up every 2 hours at night at 8 months old. i'm desparate. please let me know how i can break the nurse to sleep association, preferable without cry it out but if it is cio then a modified version that works.
thanks

Cry it out is not a recommended method in attachment parenting. Studies show that there are too many dangers from excessive crying. Your baby wakes up because she is hungry. Keep breastfeeding her and she will grow out of it eventually.

http://www.askdrsears.com/html/10/handou...

Please read the above referenced article.

Pick your kid up and comfort her. Your a parent. Do what a mother should do. Your instincts should already tell you, not some association. You can work on strenghthening and weaning her away from you when she's older and ready.

I don't like to let my baby cry.....it makes me cry! But I will let him cry for no longer than 5 mins. Then I go to him, rub his back, talk softly...."it's ok, it's alright". He usually goes back to sleep. I do not pick him up. I want him to know it's bed time and I'm not far away but it's not cuddle time or play time.

It doesn't work - unless the goal is to neglect a baby's basic needs. A baby cries to get her needs met - and yes, comfort is a basic need. It's neglect when a parent ignores the basic needs, even if it's the middle of the night. Your baby will sleep through the night when she feels secure - which will happen when she knows her basic needs will always be met.
I should also add that studies have shown that when babies "cry it out," excess cortisol is released in their brain. This has been linked to SIDS, and also to anxiety disorders later in life.

Is it possible that she has bad dreams? There is a reason babies cry, it is not good for them. Pick her up at the very least; check her diapers, I don't know what else you can do. Is she thirsty, maybe? It isn't always hunger..

Why break the nurse to sleep cycle if it's working? I think it's a great way to put a baby to sleep! A full tummy, some snuggling with mom and a good burp--that sounds like a great way to be put to sleep. If someone else told you that you "need" to break the cycle, don't even worry about it. If it works, why fix it?

The cry it out method works by teaching your baby that you will not respond to his cries unless it's convenient for you. You put the baby in the crib and leave, only coming back in the morning. Some variations call for you to go in and pat baby's back at gradually increasing intervals. It's the same old CIO method.

My real issue with CIO is that it takes more work in the long run. You're going to have to teach your child to sleep eventually. You might as well do it now. With my first child, I just didn't know any better. I was desperate for some sleep. I made her cry it out when she was 10 months old. What a mistake! Sure, at first, I thought everything was fine. Then, when she got older, bedtime became a huge hassle. It occurred to me that she had no idea HOW to put herself to sleep. She just went into the crib and played until she fell asleep. When she potty trained and moved to a bed, she would just get out of bed and come out of her bedroom to play. She's almost four now and bedtime is still a hassle.

With my second, I used The No-Cry Sleep Solution by Elizabeth Pantley. It's brilliant. This is the way that parents have taught children to sleep for thousands of years. It will not work in a week like CIO does, but it's well worth it. Check it out at the library--you'll be impressed. it's a lot of work, but it really is less work inthe long run.

don't use cry it out... buy the book NO CRY SLEEP SOLUTION.

look at these articles: http://kellymom.com/parenting/sleep/inde...
http://www.askdrsears.com/html/7/T070800...
http://www.mother-2-mother.com/pillowtal...

I know how it feels to be desperate for sleep... but knowing more about normal sleep patterns for babies, especially breastfed babies makes the sleep deprivation more tolerable. use these sources to make your own plan to help you transition your child, gently, to getting a few longer hours of sleep... not a guarantee you'll be sleeping 8 hours every night starting next week... but it will get better!!

sleep with her

do not let her cry.....if she needs to nurse and she is bed with you at night it takes all of 5 seconds to let her latch on and sleep herself off again in another minute

make your life easier and your baby happier

You don't get to stop being a mother just because it's nighttime.

That "cry it out" thing is not some sort of well-researched "method" or anything -- it's just: place infant in cage, get lost. It kills you to hear your daughter cry because you're not supposed to let your daughter cry.

There is some good research on the lack of research behind crying it out here:

http://www.talaris.org/pdf/research/CIOP...

Nursing to sleep makes mothering easier, not harder. If you are not both sleeping in the same bed, I _strongly_ recommend it. I'm not even sure how often my daughter wakes at night. It does _suck_ to never have uninterrupted sleep, but. It will not last forever, and co-sleeping and comfort nursing make it easier, not harder.

Don;T Let Any Baby Cry.

CIO isn't your only option, and even if you had no concern about the damage it may do, it doesn't work for all babies. I never used CIO and I now have a great sleeper who goes down on her own, totally awake, and sleeps for 11 to 12 hours. This isn't the way it always was, and at 8 months I still had a frequent waker. When I got to a point at which I couldn't function I realized I needed to do something. I read The No-Cry Sleep Solution and found some answers that worked for me. I highly, highly recommend the book.

Some unusual things that worked for me were
-changing my expectations about bedtime/sleep. Once I adjusted my own attitude I could find more patience and more wherewithall to provide what my kiddo was needing at the time.
-introducing a pacifier at around 13 months, just for bedtime. (13 months was a pivotal time for us)
-asking/telling DD if she was ready to lie down in bed. I would stay with her until she fell asleep. Sometimes that meant staying for a looooong time and rocking her if she got upset, but she had no anxieties about bedtime that way. One day she looked at me and pointed at the door as if to say, "Mother, get out. I'm trying to sleep" :)

My parents were of the belief that I needed to let my DD cry it out, but now they sing my praises for doing things the way that felt right to me and how well adjusted, independent and easy to put to bed my little one is!

Good luck finding your sleep solution and I hope you do the thing that feels the most right to you. Oh, and I hope you are able to see the light at the end of the tunnel. It is there!!

I did CIO.

I put him to bed, if he cried I would wait 5-7 minutes. If was still crying, I'd go back in and sooth him again, put him back down.

repeat

repeat

**and just to add..... a lot of people do not understand the CIO method. They think it's letting your kid cry until they fall asleep. Nope. And it does not warp your child, it does not teach them 'mommy wiil never come!! she doesn't love me!!'

I did CIO with my oldest, who is now 7. We couldn't be closer!

I suggest going in when she wakes up and covering her up, make sure she's comfortable...give a pacifier if she takes one...and then walk out. Don't talk to her, just make sure she is okay. You can even stay in the room, but don't pick her up and don't talk to her. It will take a few nights of her waking up and she will cry, but pretty soon she will learn to soothe herself back to sleep.

I promise you this will work, it will be hard, but it will work=)


EDIT
I have three children and they all have slept through the night since they were 6 months. They still sleep all night, no wake ups no issues going down. My children are all well behaved and none have attachment issues. I have friends, relatives, and strangers compliment me on how well behaved and independent my children are.
Attachment parenting is a horrible style of parenting and only leads to kids who don't know how to be away from their parents. It's one thing to hold and play with your kids when they need it, it's another to carry them around all the time and to not allow them to explore their space and enjoy their lives without having their parents around every second.

I am a preschool teacher and nanny and have dealt with parents who use attachment parenting and they raise whinny brats without a sense of self or confidence in their own abilities. It's sad and it doesn't help the children, it simply makes the parents feel better...

Start feeding her baby rice cereal at night with her bottle. Don't put it in the bottle, spoon feed her. It should keep her sleeping all night!! Quit reading all the books and use your Motherly instincts!!

OMG I just had a baby a week ago and she wakes every 2 hours, but that at 8 months? You poor baby. Maybe you can try keeping her up mostly during the day and making sure she eats mostly during the day. With my 2 years old son me and my fiance' used to put cereal in his bottle during that time, a nice bath, and a relaxing room before he went to bed and he'll be out for 5-8 hours.

I used the cry it out method for nap time and bed time. It's awful in the beginning, no one wants to hear their baby cry. I felt like hiding in the closet! Anyhow, I put Noah on a strict schedule. He naps at 11a.m. and again at 3p.m. He goes to bed at 8p.m. These hours rarely are disrupted as I make myself stick to this routine. It's worked wonders. At first, he would cry for 30-45 minutes (awful). Several weeks into this, he adjusted and now he only cries for maybe 7-10 minutes. So, it's called tough love and it works. It's not fun and you'll probably cry too but don't go in every 2 seconds and check on her. This will only make it worse. Feed her, make sure her diaper is clean, and put her in the crib. Leave the room and don't look back. Don't give up. Once you've accomplished this, you'll be in heaven!