Worrying About Your Children Through Your Lifetime?

Is there a magic cutoff period when offspring become accountable for their own actions? Is there a wonderful moment when parents can become detached spectators in the lives of their children and shrug, "It's their life," and feel nothing?

When I was in my twenties, I stood in a hospital corridor waiting for doctors to put a few stitches in my son's head. I asked, "When do you stop worrying?" The nurse said, "When they get out of the accident stage."
My Daddy just smiled faintly and said nothing.

When I was in my thirties, I sat on a little chair in a classroom and heard how one of my children talked incessantly, disrupted the class, and was headed for a career making license plates. As if to read my mind , a teacher said, "Don't worry, they all go through this stage and then you can sit back, relax and enjoy them." My Daddy just smiled faintly and said nothing.

When I was in my forties, I spent a lifetime waiting for the phone to ring, the cars to come home, the front door to open. A friend said, "They're trying to find themselves. Don't worry, in a few years, you can stop worrying. They'll be adults."
My Daddy just smiled faintly and said nothing.

By the time I was 50, I was sick & tired of being vulnerable. I was still worrying over my children, but there was a new wrinkle. There was nothing I could do about it.
My Daddy just smiled faintly and said nothing.
I continued to anguish over their failures, be tormented by their frustrations and absorbed in their disappointments.

My friends said that when my kids got married I could stop worrying and lead my own life. I wanted to believe that, but I was haunted by my Daddy"s warm smile and his occasional, "You look pale. Are you a all right? Call me the minute you get home. Are you depressed about something?"

Can it be that parents are sentenced to a lifetime of worry? Is concern for one another handed down like a torch to blaze the trail of human frailties and the fears of the FAMILY: Is concern a curse or is it a virtue
that elevates us to the highest form of life?

One of my children became quite irritable recently, saying to me, "Where were you? I've been calling for 3 days, and no one answered I was worried."
I smiled a warm smile.
The torch has been passed.

You will never stop worrying............. You love them. Of course you worry about their well being. That's what love is all about, and as a parent that comes with unconditional love

Your question really moved me and although I still have a ways to go, I am a parent and last night I sent 2 of my girls off on proms. I watched my girls transform from little girls to young women and I felt an overwhelming since of pride. I was talking to my best friend who is about to become a grandmother and we have come to the conclusion that we are never ever going to stop worrying about our children. The same way my mother hasn't stopped worrying about me. I also agree that it is great to know that they worry about me as well. Once I told my children as I left to go to the store that I would be back in 15 minutes. While in the store I ran into a childhood friend and we stood outside the market catching up on each others lives after about 20 minutes my oldest son (14) called to make sure that I hadn't been in an accident since I was only going for bread. When I told him that I was ok and that I would be home shortly, he told me to hurry because he worried when I was out alone late (it was around 10 p.m) and he asked why I hadn't asked hm to accompany me. It made me feel good to know that he wanted to be there to protect me the same way that I am always there to protect him. Your question brought tears to my eyes but I am a little emotion because I realize after seeing my girls off on proms last night that I will soon be losing them to a college dorm. Thanks for the breath of fresh air.

we never stop worrying about our kids but there comes a time when we stop taking responsibilty for them. mine are 33 and 30 and i sitll worry although not as abd as when they were younger, or when they first moved out of the house on thier own.

is this a really bad poem or something

I can relate as to what you wrote, I, too, am a Mother,to seven Children, a Grandmother,to Sixteen, Grandchildren, and a Great granddaughter, and my kids think that I am always available when ever they want to leave their Children, when they want to go out. I, worry a lot when one of them are sick, or one of the Children is not feeling well. When one of them bought a House he wanted me to help him landscape his Yard, because as he said "you have that talent Mom." I guess that we will always be worrying about our Family, and we will always be here for them, because we Love them.

i am glad to hear the torch will eventually be passed i am 48 and i have 19 children and 12 grandchildren i am ready for my turn