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Help writing a 200 word nursing career goal essay.?


this is all i have and don't know what to say after this to get it going.

Strong, dedicated, committed, hardworking and responsible are just a few words to describe who I am. My name is _______and Nursing has always been my dream since I was a little girl. Now that I am an adult I can fulfill those dreams. There are two reasons why I chose nursing as my career. One, reasons is because I am very loving, gentle and caring and I would love to share that with those who need it most.

Now what?

The subject of your paragraph went in too many different directions. You listed the following attributes: strong, dedicated, committed, hardworking and responsible. Then you failed to give any details of why these words can describe you. You finished with a description of yourself (very, loving, gently and caring) without connecting that description to what you had already listed.

I think what you are trying to say is that you are both a dedicated and nurturing person. Dedicated describes all of the following: strong, committed, hardworking, and responsible and nurturing describes all of the following very loving, gentle and caring.

You need to re-write this paragraph and make it an introduction paragraph where you describe why a good nurse would have the attributes of dedication and nurturing. Then one paragraph where you give examples of your dedication. In the third paragraph give examples of your nurturing. And in your concluding paragraph bring up that you have always wanted to be a nursing since you were a little girl.

You seem to have listed many good qualities about yourself, but nothing about your future career goals. Perhaps, I misinterpreted the essay topic, but you should maybe try working in what you wish to accomplish once you become a nurse. Keep some of the things you have but narrow it down a little bit. Perhaps start the essay by relating the little girl part. Then move on to form a paragraph giving a list and examples of some of the better qualities that you possess (the listed strengths). The next part is all you. What are your plans when you become a nurse. Where do u want to work, do you want to specialize in a particular area of nursing etc etc. Best wishes to you.

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