Not cut out to be a CNA... Am I here for the wrong reasons?

I just started my orientation in a nursing home as a CNA...and I realize I'm too inadequate for the job...

Everything I do, I can't do without instruction from my mentor... I have to literally be explained every single step all because I have such terrible short-term memory, forgetting even the most common sense things like pulling the curtain for privacy, pulling up the blankets to cover the resident up, dressing them up, leaving the call light, adjusting the bed in the proper position...

My other problem is I've been conditioned by my dad to work as a utility person: standing behind him handing tools, being there to assist whenever he needed it, never really doing anything on my own... I'm just not used to being my own worker... I'm too dependent on others to know what to do...

And I'm told I have to do everything on my own... If I stay, I'll only turn the place into a hospice... I don't know how I even got my certificate...

I came to this job so I can have health benefits and see a therapist...and I just realized I'd have to wait a few months for the benefits to take effect; by that time, I'll have my certficate revoked! And even if it were a doable job, I can't wait that long to get the help I've so badly needed for so long now...

I can't even handle my own life, let alone nursing... Everything is so overwhelming and hopeless... I'll just let God kill me... T_T

I know that the CNA job can be very demanding of a person.I know cause I have been there.And I had to get out of it.But don't beat yourself up over it.Maybe you should get a different type of job.Are you depressed or do you suffer from anxiety?Cause that is what it sounds like.I think that everyone has felt overwhelmed or hopeless also.But don't let that consume you,cause it will eat you up.Cheer up

apply for another job somewhere else that is more in your field and wait for the benefits to take effect there....its better to wait a while, while doing something you enjoy rather than wait a while in something that you cant handle

If you really feel that you are that inadequate for the task, quit immediately. I put myself through college as a CNA and it is not a job, it is a calling. It's all the hard work of nursing for peanut pay. You should do it because of the wonderful relationships that you have the chance to have with the wonderful people that are trusting you to take care of them. I'm sure that the people you have been charged with caring for are thrilled that you feel you can't do your job, it's probably a big boost to their self esteem. Get a grip and do what's right! Sorry if that sounds harsh but, these are people you're talking about, not a job so you can see a therapist. I hope that when you do see that therapist you bring this up. Just take care of people the way you would want to be taken care of. You don't need to memorize a list of "tasks." Just put yourself in their place. Would you want to be trapped in a bed without a callbell? Would you close the privacy curtain if you were getting dressed in a room with a door open? I would suggest an immediate meeting with your mentor and the DON. This could be life or death and I don't think you want that on your conscience.

I'm a nurse & sometimes I feel just like you do! We all have insecurities & new jobs are hard!! You need to believe in yourself. Don't focus so much on your weaknesses. Give yourself credit for everything you are learning and are able to do. Once you gain some confidence, everything else will fall into place. Maybe you just need a break for a while to regain your focus. You're in a bad space right now, and you lack insight. Take some time off to clear your head. Then give it a nice fresh start without all that stinking thinking. Best wishes!!!!

You are correct. You shouldn't be where you are now. But you already knew that. The therapy you need is available, without any type of benefits. There are clinics that will have their fees on a sliding scale based on your ability to pay. If you have no income whatsoever, you will have to pay nothing at all. Check with your local county health department. They should be able to point you in the right direction.
Good luck, and hang in there. Things will get better for you.

have you ever thought about going to school to hand the dr his operating tools? they pay very well better than a cna.
But on the CNA issue. sweetie give yourself time. have more confidence in yourself it is a hard job. some of the things that are required of you are not natural to your life at this point but they can be. I have no doubt if your caring enough to be upset by your mistakes that you will be able to be a good cna. The first thing about that job is to care. always remember pt comfort and privacy and you will do ok. There is alot to remember and do but the longer you are there the more naturally it will come. I really do not think you have anything to worry about with your certification, usually it would be abuse that would cause you to loose it. there is nothing in your job that would cause someone to die either It is up to the nurses to make those medication errors. so stop being too hard on yourself and enjoy the old codgers stories and think how much they have seen and how many changes their generation brought to our world.
one of the things in life is this if you do not have the confidence or respect for yourself how is anyone else going to.
you sound very sweet and like your having a hard time. There are crisis hotlines out there that can point you in the right direction. there is plenty of help being in this wonderful country you just have to first do a little work and find it. most employers offer a hotline as well if they are big enough. so spend a little time doing the footwork and you will find where you need to be.

Make a list of how things are to be done and look at the list before punching in, such as in your car.
Keep a small pocket note pad in your pocket. Pray for wisdom.