Why my husband just won't grow up??

So here I am 5 years later, a 4 year, one year of marriage and the same little boy I first met!! Don't get me wrong I love my husband (we all do right), but he has his short comings......I just want to know why I can not can not get him to grow up in certain aspects of life. He is a hard working man, he just put me through nursing school and worked his buns off and I am so proud of him for doing that but still it's not good enough for him that I stayed in school, made the honor society (and if you are a nurse you know that's not an easy task), and got a job one month out of school and he still yells at me for not getting my education sooner. I mean come on!!! Another thing is that he never listens to me when I ask him to do something, like tonight he goes out with his buddies to have some drinks and comes home annoying as anything and of course it's sooo funny to our 4 y/o daughter so he plays into it. I ask him to pipe down b/c it's after 11pm and he gets louder. What to do???

So just to sum it up a little, I am 26 and he is 27, he has a demanding and dangerous career and puts all his effort into it and I love and appreciate him for that but it's never enough for him. I am over the yelling thing and am to the point where if I say please one more time my brain might blow up. It's always please honey, baby please, not so loud please, not such rough play please, please please please!!! I think he should get it by now, I just want to know that i also give to the family and feel good about it and have him respect me when I ask him not to be so annoying but yet he keeps on keeps on with what ever he thinks is funny when in reality it's like a broken record scratching over and over again. Like I said I love him I don't want him to change I just want him to respect me more........And he needs to understand that his actions are stronger than words when it comes to raising our daughter

I had the same problem. I met my ex husband when he was 19 and I was 18. We married and divorced when I was 30. Guess what? When we divorced, he was still 19 and he accused me of changing (umm, because I grew up?) - Not entirely the reason why we divorced - that is another story.
Anyway, unfortunately some never grow up or it takes a long time. I can suggest that you talk to him and possibly consider marriage counseling so a third party can give some input and suggestions.

He is so use to you yelling at him to grow up, maybe its time for you to shut up and let him be. (sorry if i offended you) but what i mean is just don't tell him anything anymore and he will notice that something is wrong then he will start to worry. i did that and he changed on his own, he was afraid i was going to leave, because i stopped the nagging.

May I please suggest a very good book? It's called Women who love too much, by Robin Norwood. I'm also married to a 32 child and after I discovered this book I learned to understand and cope with this problem. You will understand that you CANNOT change anyone, no matter how hard you try. Either you stay with him under these conditions or you go. This book is so wonderful because it talks about women who love themselves "too little" in comparison to loving their men "too much" and doing everything to improve HIS life.

It takes time for men to grow up why I don't know but it will happen in time. Of course I don't know how old he is but if he is in his 30's he will wake up one day and realize he doesn't need to be drinking. He will straighten up because he doesn't want his daughter to see it and not get involved into drinking beer and other drinks.
This what happen with my husband he realized he didn't want his kids see him drinking any alcohol. It also helped when my husband got into church I thank that is what saved our marriage more than once. Just fine a good church and go to it start going every Sunday. All Churches has a day care for a 4 year old. I was raised as a Pentecostal but I am a Baptized now. So there is a church for you also where ever your at just look in the phone book yellow pages to fine a church to go to and than maybe get your husband to go with you also. Because the man is supposed to be the head of the household.

It may take a dangerous tragedy in both of your lives for him to realize he never had respect for you. He is playing a game
that he was taught by his Mother and Father. He has to learn their is a difference now he isn't home with them. Can you blame him? When we have learned behavior like this it is almost impossible to change. Of course he is the loser even
though he has no concept of this. Some parents can manage to raise a kid and never teach them how to be responsible for themselves. He will only hurt your feelings, he would not
physically harm you. You will never change him so you must decide whether you can stand this behavior in the furture.

Is this my wife asking? No seriously is it? First off, thank you mspollyanna888. Why women think that they have to change men is beyond me. We guys are all the same. We love our sports, video games, chicks in bikinis and going out with our buddies. Now, in saying this, it doesnt mean that we all are immature a**holes. When I first met my wife 9 years ago, yea I was immature. She has been good to me. Showing me alot about the corporate world. And I worked my a** off while she went to college. But for some reason, she continues to make me feel stupid. She continues to tell me that I need to spend more time with my son. When alls I do is play games with him. Play baseball, go bike riding, do extreme crazy sports with him. What he likes to do. Guy stuff. We hang out all the time. Its no wonder men have affairs. Beleive me, the thought has come across my mind lately. We can only take so much nagging. O, apparently im also a very bad cook. Couldnt even microwave a frozen dinner. Hell, I cant even do the laundry right. God forbid if I volunteer to help out around the house. Do you know why I dont anymore? Cause she goes right behind me and does it her way. So what does that tell me? That Im stupid? Have I always been like this? No. Actually, I have gotten better over the years. I was a real jerk early in our relationship. But, yes I did do alot of growing up. But lately,let me tell you, this making me feel like I am a kid again needs to stop. Rather than pick on your husbands defaults, why dont you look at his good qualities and start there. Beleive me, he has his list of sh*t that he cant stand about you either. Just like I have stated mine. If you want to make a marriage work, try not looking at his immature things, and start looking at why you married him in the first place. Quit picking on what you dont like about him. Sh*t, hes your husband for crying out loud.

Last night I was reading your question, and I read it out loud to my husband! We got into a fight that lasted until the wee hours of the morning! See, right now...I am in college full time, I have 3 kids, and I do all the housework, and cooking most nights. He works and pays the bills. No money comes out of his pocket to pay for my school, but he makes me feel bad about not having a job all the time. It was his idea for me to stay home with the kids in the first place, and I figured I should do something productive like go to school! I have been in school for 2 years now! Well, the argument we have about me getting a job...does not make sense to me because since I do not have a degree...I can't make enough money to pay for daycare ($300 week), and still make enough money to actually justify me going to work and giving up school-which will benefit us in the future! He says a little help would be nice paying the bills, but he makes really good money...he has been a stone mason for 12 years! So, we shouldn't have money problems! He treats me as if I do nothing! It makes me really mad, and so frustrated! I never get days off, I take care of 3 little kids (4, 2, 1), plus our 3 dogs, plus all the housework etc. He works half the time and complains the rest! So, we fight all the time about this issue...I have went to work twice in the last 2 years, but it only lasted a couple of weeks because of the extreme difficulty it put on our family! So, he says to me "I can't help it if you have no skills, and can't get a good job" I am trying to get those skills! Well, at times I think that he is jealous of my success! That is the only reason I can deduce from the whole situation! He acts like my part is a bed of roses, and because he makes money that he is the hardest worker! I just wish he would appreciate and recognize what I do...instead of constantly saying I do not contribute to this relationship! So, back to your situation...My husband and I had our opinions! I say that your husband is jealous of your success and that he may feel a little threatened as a man of your career? The reason he still criticizes you about getting your education sooner and all that is because he can't find anything else to say about it to make you feel bad! He just wants to make himself feel better! My husband on the other hand...thinks that all he wants is to be shown some appreciation for putting you through school...he said most normal people have a job, and you should appreciate him for making the sacrifice for you to go to school and become normal! He made me mad with his comments, but I think your husband should be appreciated, but he should also recognize what you did and how hard you worked. Plus, he should think about how much you getting your education is benefiting your family! He should appreciate you also!