What counselling therapy would you use?

Mary has sought counselling because she is feeling depressed. She has recently been off work for 8 weeks and is taking antidepressants. Although she does not feel well she is back at work and very afraid that if she takes more time off she will lose her job. She works as an auxillary nurse on a maternity ward. Due to the difficulties she is only working nights. She loves her job and describes it as the only good thing in her life.
Mary feels that her problems stem from her relationship to her father who was both physically and mentally abusive towards her, her two sisters and mother. She is the youngest child by 10 years her two sisters are very close in age. She is 28 and her sisters are 37 and 38 years both are happily married with children. Their father died 12 years ago and at that point Mary dropped out of education. Mary still lives at home with her mother and feels dominated by her sisters and also marginalized within the family group. She describes herself as still having loving feelings towards her father and would visit his grave. Both her sisters are described as hating their father and still talk about him with anger and bitterness. They feel that Mary鈥檚 feelings are a betrayal of family values. She feels that they are trying to force her to think like them and be like them and do not give her any respect as an adult with her own views. She feels the key to her current feelings is in the nature of her relationship with her father but she cannot talk about him without getting upset.

Its really difficult to say what counselling therapy to use because everyone is different and will respond to different things. Mary probably needs to explore a few options to find something that suits her. Also, you need to find a counsellor you really can relate to. I personally would say to try 'Psychoanalytical therapy using Flower Essences' its a natural medicinal practice and i know a lot of people arent open to this sort of thing but it deals with the problem on a mind, body and spirit level which is really important in dealing with problems that stem from childhood. I have had success with flower essences and thats why i recommend it but everyone is different. Working in the health care profession Mary probably has access to prehaps a list of counsellors that can help her. Talking about the problem can really help but i also feel Mary should do things to get in touch with herself again. Join a sporting club, meditation, yoga, art classes - something other than work to also enjoy. I am skeptical of anti depressants but i am not here to pass judgement. There are heaps of other natural alternatives to these pills that promote 'self healing'. Good luck with everything!

It sound like your talking about me. My dad was like this with me and my siblings and mom. He is still alive. I didn't have problems until i was older and saw lots of counsellors none of them worked. My doctor sent me to see a wonderful hypnotist who helped me. She said that it was okay for me to still love my dad which i do. My sister hated my mom and dad and eventually cut us all out of her life so she would be able to get over it. I eventually was able to accept the fact that my parents were like that because there parents were. When i saw that i had broke the mould and was a good parent and excepted that my parents had got it wrong, i let it go. I stood up for what i felt in my heart was right. I love my dad and i don't care what anyone says. She should stand up for what she believes is right for herself and don't listen to anyone. I'm 43 and spent 42 years in turmoil, i am now free.

it sounds like mary came to terms within herself and the sisters have to but mary is allowed to forgive and forget and her sisters aren't ready yet. her sisters need to allow mary to express her opions, mary needs to just stand up for herself and what she feels i mean it is ok for them to down their father but it isn't ok for mary to find the good in her abusive father and that isn't fair of them there is a 10 year difference in their ages. THe sisters sound like they have picked up some of their abusive fathers traits if you know what i mean. the sisters really need to just cool it and relize that mary has a different outlook due to the age difference. it is ok for Mary to forgive and find what good there may have been in her father cuz that is how one gets on with their life