Dating question: Why?

Me: 47, part-time retail clerk, full-time student. Location: Oregon, 5鈥?鈥? 175#, bald like a cue ball. Been single and hating it since 1999. Made many attempts at finding someone my own age and to ultimately marry. Most available women aged 40-50 are divorcees with children and they are hard to get to know. Impossible.

1. 2000, I dated a nice woman, her ex had just remarried. I learned she was still sleeping with him. She told me that she is needy and he senses her weakness. I hit the dusty trail. There were later, similar outcomes.

2. 2002, I meet a 27-y/o nurse at a friend鈥檚 house. 42 at the time, I was shocked when she asked for my contact information 鈥?said she wanted to get to know me. We dated for a few months and she was perfect except for one thing, she wanted a family. I hit the trail once more.


3. My last two relationships involved women in their twenties. Second of which is the relationship I am in now.

4. For all of you Dr. Laura types, I鈥檝e tried everything to date within my age group. Seeing a woman half your age isn鈥檛 for the lighthearted. Older women are just too hard to get to know and if a woman is not available 鈥?well, she just is not interested, and so I do not push.


I learned that the woman I am seeing is 22. I met her in the complex鈥檚 laundry room. I don鈥檛 understand why she spends all of her spare time with me. She works full-time and takes classes. We鈥檝e known each other for seven weeks and what began as a friendship is approaching the point of no return. So, what to do? I mean, 25 years is a heck of an age difference. I鈥檝e asked her about it, she doesn鈥檛 like younger men, and yesterday she mentioned living together and more.

So, the question is: Why can鈥檛 I find a woman who is closer to my own age?

Like I said, no Dr. Laura responses please.

Take_me: thanks for the Dr. Lauralike analysis.

II don鈥檛 know. Maybe you should latch on to what you have and simply thank GOD for it. You might be over-thinking things just a bit. Older women sounds like a heap of trouble. Kids and multiple parents, dogs, or whatever older women are in to. The older woman scene is much to complex for any man to ever have to deal with. With someone your own age, you will be dealing with her strange addictions - trust me. Let older women deal with their own problems on their own while you live life as opportunities present themselves. Men are able to deal with constant change and a twenty two year old is now a big part of your life. Look hard at your options and make your best choice. She's right there, she's here now, and she is the best alternative unless you like cold forty-something fish.

Go for it. If she is mature enough, then age differences are not a big deal and used to be quite common. The key is her ability to adapt to this and your ability to adapt to her. You can probably adapt better, but she must be mature enough... ie. out of the kid stage, functioning as a true adult.

It sounds GOOD to me and I agree with with.'crazy8ed'!
MY Question is: "What 'if 'the having children thingy, comes in to play, will you still run?
Best to get that out in the OPEN before you ruin both your lives, no?
As you said earlier, (she was perfect except for one thing, she wanted a family. I hit the trail once more.)
Good Luck!!

is the point of this question to brag about dating a 22 year old? i don't see what ur problem is. u don't want a family, but u do want to get married. u want a woman who doesn't want a family, but who has no children.
u can't find a woman closer to ur own age because woman ur age KNOW if a man wants a family, and no they will not waste their time on you if ur just in it for the fun. so just enjoy ur time with the young chick. it will be a while b4 she starts nagging about babies.

the older the person you seek the higher the likelihood they were involved in a previous marriage, either don't want to get remarried or involved in another relationship. My advice is to go to place, bars, clubs anywhere that people within your age group hang out and secondly try online dating

Ok, let us start at square one. You鈥檙e kind of old to be dating a twenty two year old. You mentioned that you once dated a 27 year old and you didn鈥檛 match up on the issue of replication. Kudos to you because I routinely encounter all of these 鈥済reen people鈥?who are breeders, and I don鈥檛 understand how someone can be a breeder and be 鈥済reen.鈥?After all, if you increase the number of human waste manufacturers and gasoline users, you鈥檙e not living green. Greenness aside, You need to discuss your true feelings at once with your new girlfriend. There鈥檚 always a good chance that the values chasm will be too wide. By the way, I wish to thank you for not wanting to reproduce at age 47. Studies suggest that you are just as likely to NOT be around when the child would need you most. Life insurance is great, but it doesn鈥檛 account for parental guidance.

Well then,

You鈥檝e asked about women your age and what they might be thinking. Well, think about it. You鈥檙e hoping for women who are your age but single. Targeting once, twice, or even thrice, married females is dicey. The more marriages, the worse judgment she鈥檒l have. Women are just people and they鈥檒l make the same mistakes over and over again 鈥?and that鈥檚 what you are dealing with. Look at some woman, basically any woman in your age group, and ook hard at the choices she鈥檚 made in her life. What you鈥檙e gonna find is that she likes a certain kind of man and you can鈥檛 change her. For example, she likes divorced men with a family. That鈥檚 her preference. Then, looking carefully at divorced men with families, you find a bunch cheating men who were caught and therefore divorced. Nonetheless, there are a whole bunch of newly divorced women out there who want divorced (cheating) men. But, Go figure? I occupy the same age group as you and I know how messed up people really are. If she鈥檚 22 and you are 47, are you happy? Is the relationship going to take you where you would like to go?

I say 鈥渢urn and burn.鈥?because the dating world for forty-somethings is not so good.

You should move ahead with your current relationship. Your younger mate has probably been around long enough to know her mind. She obviously knows what she wants. Then, you have been out there and you know that women your own (our own) age are impossible to date. For example, when I focus on my (our same) age group, we are both looking for love among a very jaded group of women. They made bad choices and they are going to repeat the same mistakes again and again. That鈥檚 the way it is bro鈥hances are, the women you dated that are within your age group would choose another bad marriage but they are ever-so ready to use you in order to get some protection from those ex-husbands. Truth is, they are still in love with hubby#1 so don鈥檛 play their games. Let them learn painfully and on their own. What else can you do?