Mothers, did you feel any shame when you were giving birth?

I know many people will say that this is a silly question, but I bet that at least some of those people are hypocritical.

Yes, giving birth is a natural process, just like having sex, eating or performing your urinary and intestinal needs...

But will you deny that social precepts often don't make some acts more constraining?

Having sex in the first times can be inhibiting...

How about giving birth, in the presence of a certain amount of people (even though they are doctors or nurses, and so are for sure already used to this)?

Besides of that, I've also heard that women can have a poo (or fart) during childbirth...

Be sincere about this... After all, you are on the Internet (and I would never ask this in real life either...)

When you get to the hospital and get admitted for labor, let your nurse know your concerns. It is OK. She will help to preserve your privacy as much as possible. She can perform exams, change pads, check bleeding...discretely & without exposing you.

It also helps to not have a room full of people while you are laboring. That way, you don't have to worry about being embarassed in front of people you know. Friends & family have a way of bringing things up later. Leave them at home!

I disagree with some of the comments that you should not be embarassed. Some people are just modest. This will not make you a bad mother! Jeesh! You can even breastfeed without exposing anything. It is just how you are. It is OK.

Some people don't like any clothing during labor and rip it off! You might surprise yourself :) Talk with your coach/husband whoever will be with you. Tell them what YOU want so that they can be your advocate during labor.

Good luck. Your baby will love you either way! Sophie

No shame. When you're in all that pain, you don't care who sees down there, what happens down there or anything - just as long as the pain goes away and you get to see your beautiful reward - your baby!!!!

None at all. By the time it was pushing the whole world could have been watching and I wouldn't have noticed or cared. I was to busy to care what anyone else was thinking.

No, shame at all. This should be a beautiful experience. Poo or farting as you say is also , only natural.

I did not feel any shame when giving birth to my children. It was after they were born and every nurse in the hospital thought she had to look in your panties. That bothered me alot. I didn't poo or fart during childbirth but if I had I would have just died!

I felt embarrased when they put me for labour cause there were soooo many people passing around and watching at me(nurses,doctors etc) but when the labour began I totally forgot about them.I think that it's natural to feel ashamed at first.Just don't think about it

There was absolutely no shame for me. By the time you have the baby you are used to being examined and poked and prodded with no regard to modesty. I tried not to think of it as my body but my baby's life support. Also you get so into the birth process you really don't think about such things. If for some reason you are uncomfortable limit the number of people that are around you. People forget they are in charge of there delivery. The nurses are there to assist you not order you around. You are the boss.

The hospital staff has seen it all......have had 3 vaginal deliveries(one er section) and have pushed out gas along with baby. This last time around I pushed out so much gas i wanted to apologize while in labor and then thought why I'm pushing hard like they told me too!!!LOL When I seen my OB the next day I secretly wondered If he remembered for like 2 seconds and then though who cares

No, I was much too busy to worry about that at the time.

I am have a great laugh with your question. When I gave birth to my daughter, my biggest fear was to have some sort of bowel movement or gas blow out of me with all the pushing.

The doctors and nurses, have seen it all. You would be amazed and the little jokes they will tell you during your special hour. Stories that make you laugh but also help calm your nerves down.

If you feel constipated, let them know when you arrive, and they can give you something to help jump start your bowels, getting them cleaned out before the baby comes.

=)

Thankfully I didn't have any blunders like that. Only when the after birth came out, I was in shock of how weird that part of it was.

No way. It hurts like hell and all you're interested in is getting that baby out. It's the most amazing experience in the whole world though. Why be ashamed of it? It's a natural process. I'm sure women have been pooping during childbirth since the beginning. That's not what people talk about afterwards though...

No, I felt no shame. But then I've spent years in Cognitive Behavioral Therapy healing from my childhood. I don't really carry any of those hangups about my body. I've attended many births also, which gives you a respectful perspective about the human body. I think "shame" is a left-over from decades past when women were made to feel less than they are -- when "great" men *had* to assist women through childbirth as they certainly could not do so without the aid of a man (please note the dripping sarcasm). Shame has no place in the vicinity of the birth of a child. I've watched other women urinate and pooh while straining to birth their babies. It is neither gross nor disgusting and certainly not shameful. The effort and the desire for their baby is so strong that such thoughts don't even enter their (nor my) mind. As an attendant, you simply keep the area clean and be supportive and encouraging.

Honestly I was very nervous about "having everything hang out" in front of a bunch of strangers. but when you are giving birth you inhibitions are the last thing on your mind. Yes you can have bowel movements during pushing but the nurses are very discreet and I had no idea that I had until I asked my husband. And it wasn't like I dropped a big load on the table he said they were just little pellets. It makes sense though considering all the pressure that is on you bowels between contractions and the weight of the baby something is bound to pop out :) At that point you just want the baby out and that is all you think about not who is look between your legs!

none at all. you ar ein pain and your focus is on pushing that baby out of you!!!! theres no time for that, and all the doctors and nurses are so professional and most have been there themselves. so nothing to worry about!

You know...you would think that being half or completely naked in front of people you dont know would make you embarassed or whatever.

But your mind is elsewhere. Nature does a thing on your mind set to keep you from worrying about things like that. Your mind is concerned with the birht of your child, not that your naked.

As for having a bowel movement while pushing..yes it happens and you probably wont even know it happened. Nurses usually whisk that away without a hint that something happened.

The only thing I was adamant about was NO CAMERAS....I dont want to see myself later..thats when the embarassment would come in for me.

Shame is a different emotion...I would hope no one would feel SHAME in its true sense when giving birth. Embarassment might be more common.

My sincere and honest answer is NO, I didn't feel ashamed. Why would I?? those Dr and nurses bring babies into the world every few hours every day!! They are used to do this and they are professionals....you won't be thinking about it when 10cm dilated contractions are hitting you!! you will just want the baby out!

I was shy at first, and had been shy during my OB visits, but when it came time to get my baby out, all modesty went out the window during those 17.5 hours. I had no choice then..and yes, I did have a small bowel movement because they tell you to push like you're having one. You release gas because your body is relaxing and pushing so much, but my nurse was nice and explained to me why I had no control about these things. I vomited, even, and didn't care.

It's sad that society makes us so ashamed of things that are so natural. It's appalling that breastfeeding can be seen as a "taboo" act nowadays too.

Having sex, pooping, and eating do not involve agonizing endless pain, nor do they result in the greatest sense of relief and satisfaction known to man kind. You cant compare it to those acts that we do or dont do in public, theyre not even remotely related.

I was not ashamed in the least bit about giving birth. It was all goo, vagina and blood and I wouldnt have cared at all if they brought in the high school marching band. During labor I wanted certain people there, but after 37 hours of labor, and 6 1/2 hours of hard pushing I didnt give a flying crap about anything but having that baby in my arms.

Birth is freaking amazing. That person should NOT fit out of that hole. And the fact that a mother subjugates herself to that torture and sees it through to the end is absolutely heart wrenching.

Women who are ashamed to give birth should not be having children, in my oppinion. There are some things about being human that will always remain raw and unrefined, and that alone is enough to make them awesomely amazing.

I dont think women should be laying in the street horking out kids, but in the hospital around professionals and loved ones all bets are off. Theres no shame in giving life to another human being.

do you feel ashamed when you see doctor when you are sick?

do you feel ashamed when you have injections?

do you feel ashamed when you are still a baby and 1st time came out from your mom's womb?

shame not so much. more embarassment. i mean everyone family, doctors and nurses all get to see "you" in a very compromising way. now given it is a natural process and if i were lucky enough to witness child birth in person i would not think anything of the embarassing things that could or would happen because i know they are natural and uncontrollable. i have had two kids. and both times i had a room full of family and friends. and both times sure i was a little embarassed but never once did anyone in the room make me feel that way. they were all wonderful and supportive.

Not at all. Doctors and nurses have seen it all. You have limited control over body functions when you are pushing that baby out, and the birth process is not supposed to be a clean, bloodless, event. Yes, you'd rather not fart or poop or bleed, put that's just how labor and birth are.

Well during labor it was just me, my mom,my baby's dad, a nurse and a Dr(at the last min) and no at the time of birth I didn't feel weird I had an oxygen mask on and I thought I had really bad breath but no it wasn't that and no one said it was the one of the more embarrassing things that can come with labor. Lets just say I had an epidural and couldn't feel anything from the waist down and you use the same muscles to push. Yes after I realized what the smell really was and my son's father told me I was really embarrassed still am.

I did not feel any shame at all and it saddens me that women would. It is such a beautiful and empowering experience. My hospital birth experiences we very bad, and I was not treated well. I plan on having home births from now on and look forward to that so much. I know that it will be a more empowering experience, much better than my hospital births, because I will not have the hospital setting and staff to intimidate me. Instead of it being about hospital policy, it will be about me, which it should be as I am the one giving birth!

Ummmmm...trust me...when you are giving birth - and you are in that much pain..
you could care less about anything or what anybody thinks!!!!!!!!!!!!
so- no, i did not feel shame.

the only time I really felt ashamed was of myself and my poor attitude. I yelled at my husband and hurt his feelings. after that I didn't feel shame.
I did fart and it was embarasing, but I didn't feel shame. Heck, I vomited and peed on the delivery room floor. The nurse (Danni was awesome) said that she has seen it all and it was nothing to worry about. It happens. I was too busy trying to get my daughter into this world to let the people comming in and out bother me.

Hmmm have you had children.. there is no shame in it at all... When you go into labor and you first get to the hospital yah.. it's a little awkward.. but by the time you are almost dilated to a 10 and you have been in labor for over 8 hours.. you could care less about poop.. a room full of people... all you want is to see your baby safe and out of your body!!! Your so over whelmed with the safety of your child and the discomfort your in you don't have shame....
you also loose shame from going to the doctor twice a month and having her jam her hand up in you to check your cervix... or pap smears...
It's not shame it's the just not the pretty side to child birth...
Any mom who's had a baby hold no shame over it... only maybe they hold shame for the fact they told there husband were he could shove his love and turn it side ways and to go **** him self... but that is a diff situation.

I didn't have shame with either of my children. But during the birth of my first her head was out so the doctor was telling me not to push (to do the suctioning) and I heard my mother in the hall screaming why are they telling her not to push... I freaked out and yelled at the nurses to shut the door.
Two months ago at the birth of my second baby I was again told to not push because the doctor wasn't there yet. And my mom got to the hospital. I'm in excrutiating pain since I didn't have an epidural, and I hear my mom say don't you want me in there. UMMM no i didn't the first time and I don't want you there now either.
I pooped both times. Just a little. You can't help it. There's so much blood and other gross stuff the poo is the only normal looking thing that just came out of your body. Most nurses clean it up before you can even see it. With my second I had her before the doctor showed up so I just had her on the intake bed. I had no stirrups or anything. I just put my legs to the sides and she fell out in two pushes. I got to the hospital at a 10. I don't really recommend getting there that late.

Well, I'm a mandatory cesarean after a classical w/ my first... but let me tell ya that being awake and hearing some guy slosh around in your guts is no walk in the park!!!

Nor is having a catheter placed while you watch one nurse hike your leg up in the air while you watch another put a tube up your urethra... fun stuff huh?

Shame though... not really, afterall if you keep in perspective it is all natural stuff and like you said they're all drs & nurses it's easier to be just a little uncomfortable or feel wierd and not truly feel shame.
....... but that's me :)

ZERO SHAME!!! You are WAY too busy thinking about your baby and the fastest way to get your baby OUT!! I don't think I would want a bunch of my relatives watching me but just the important people like Daddy and maybe your mother but the doctors have seen it ALL so they are used to it and they are prepared for anything to happen. Good Luck!

No shame at all and I am an extremely private person. I don't even like people hugging me unless I know them, let alone seeing down there. But, when my son was ready to come out, I would have invited in a mob if it helped to get him out faster!

Not an ounce of shame...untill after when my boyfriend told me I was swearing like a sailor. LOL.