Questions about advocacy for my wife during the labor, delivery, and post delivery process...?

I am looking for opinions and pointers from mother's and father's regarding being an assertive and efficient advocate for my wife during labor, delivery, and after the delivery of our baby.

Please give any feedback regarding interaction with doctor's, nurses, insurance company representatives, family, and friends.

No detail is too small. I want to be prepared going in.

I realize my wife will be doing most of the work, but I want to do all I can for the benefit of her health and our babies health.

We are expecting in late September. We have already discussed birhting plans and some other minor details with her doctor.

I have advice for you on how to deal with doctors and nurses, and with friends and family, from my personal experience.

First, you should research complications that may arise and decide how you would like them dealt with ahead of time so you don't feel lost and forced to do the first thing the doc suggests if it is not what you and your wife are comfortable with. For example, inducing and C-sections tend to be overdone when they are not necessary. Be your wife's representative. She is likely to not be thinking clearly in the heat of the moment.

With friends and family, don't be afraid to limit visitors until your wife is well-rested. I remember feeling very overwhelmed with too many visitors and not enough sleep when my first was born. Also, don't hesitate to insist on hand washing and waiting to see baby if they are not completely well. My third child was hospitalized as a newborn with RSV, a virus that causes cold symptoms that can be "just a sniffle" for an adult, but dangerous for infants and small children.

Good Luck and God Bless!

I have no answer to your question, I am 14 weeks along in my first pregnancy.. But I want to applaud you for being so sensitive to your wife... You will be a great father!

Yea well done you!!!
Do anything she asks and let her do anything she wants to you, I bit my poor hubby when I was in labour with our 3rd.

If she is having any problems with the labour do whatever the midwife says no mater how silly, with my second me and my hubby had to do some very strange excersises to try and our babys head unstuck.

Tell her how well she is doing and try and comfort her as much as possible.

Try and keep family and friends away untill the baby is born unless she says otherwise, my mother in law was in the hospital from about 2 hours after I got there and I really didn't want her there and she just ended up waiting outside as they wouldn't let her in anyway, so it will stop them from wasting their time too.

If you have any questions do not hesitate to ask no matter how stupid you think it is the doctors and nurses have heard it all before.

Can't help on the insurance front, sorry.
Hope this helps!! Good luck and keep up the good work!

pretend you are a woman and try to be very sensitive, psychic even, to her needs beore she has to ask. Keep people out of the room, and think about things like...how long has it been since she has had a drink, maybe I'll grab her a water just in case.
Bring a paper fan so you can fan her face during pushing, it is hard and sweaty work and really nobody needs you to hold a leg, they just do that to give you something to do. Encourage her to walk around during labor. Keep a game face no matter what you see happen down there. This is not the time to be squeamish. After delivery stick by her side, send people out for errands. Have a supply of snacks in your bag at the hopsital, she will be ravenous 24/7...pay close attention to all the post partum baby instructions. Good luck!!

Make friends with "your" nurse...they spend more time with you then the Doctor. They really know what is going on, and can be a great help to you both. Ask her questions. Find out what your wife wants, and just try to get it for her.

Ask in advance for a "Birthing room" it may be called something else at your hospital. Its a room where she can have labor and delivery, so she wont have to be moved from one to another. I liked that there was less moving around and normally the room will have a bathtub.

The thing that helped me the most is my husband never let our child out of his site after the birth. He asked to give our child her first bath. They let him in the back of the nursery and let him do this...this is something that the nurse will normally do and most parents don't know they can ask to do.

We had a friend with us, and he took a photograph of my husband giving our daughter her first bath...I love that photo!

The one thing I really wanted but forgot to pack...
Chap stick!