Down Syndrome Baby.?

My aunt had a baby with down syndrome.. he is 2 months.. and his eyes are shifting like he was crossed-eyed. A few nurses came to see him to see if he is okay... and my aunt tells them he is doing fine. And i think he really isn't if his eyes are shifting... and not only that but he has little strength on both of his arms... he could hold on to you tight sometimes.. but only when he is eating... otherwise his hands fly back all the time when you hold him...... and i know my aunt is acting like this because her husband is in denial that the baby has Down syndrome when the test result came in positive. He is very manipulative and what he says goes. My aunt has no say in her baby.... and I'm concerned that he will get no help by the hospital programs for babies like these because her husband is manipulative. It isn't fair to the baby. My mom said mind my business.... because they would learn the hard way.. but why not eliminate this before it happens... thats so unfair to the baby.

Her husbands doesn't want any help from the programs.... and she agrees but i know deep inside she doesnt.

At 2 months of age, it's very common for an infant's eyes to still be shifting. The muscles aren't usually fully developed until at least 3 months of age. That's one thing that gets checked at the 3-month checkup. Especially in a child with down syndrome, it is very common for people with downs to have eye problems, so I'm sure that your cousin's doctor will be keeping a watchful eye on his vision. I am very concerned by what you say about your uncle's attitude. Research has proven many times over again, that the earlier you take action to help the child with down syndrome, the better they do. Down Syndrome isn't anything like what most older people see it as these days. We've learned many things about the problem over the last 10 years, and the one thing I can tell you, having worked with down syndrome children (newborn-12 years of age), is the earlier you get them into an intervention program (there are many that are provided through hospitals and through other state agencies), and into therapy programs, the better they will be at developing normally. Children with Down Syndrome can live very normal lives, if they are given the help and support they need to flourish. It should be something that his doctor brings up. He's still a little young for any real program (most don't start until 2-3 years of age). It can take a while for parents to get over the guilt that they feel towards the child. They tend to feel like it's their fault that it happened. They can know and understand that there's nothing they could have done to prevent it, but they still feel the guilt. Give them time and all the love and support you can. They will come around in time. At this point, all your cousin needs is to have his physical needs met, and to be treated like any other baby. The more sensory experiences he gets, the better. Hope it helps, and if you would like to speak with me further, feel free to e-mail me privately at: kbviolin_98@yahoo.com

It's natural for infant to cross their eyes. They are still learning to focus them on things. Once they realize their baby does have down's they'll seek help/advice.

It can be a disappointment when a baby doesn't live up to the hopes people had for him. The best thing you can do for the little guy is to love on him. Give him lots of hugs and smiles. Joke with him and laugh with him as he gets older. There's no telling at this point how severe the retardation will be. Just love him for who he is. Try not to get into the middle of things, that could keep you from being able to see your cousin.

Once people can move past their disappointment, they can love that little baby for who they are. It doesn't matter that the child might never be independent or get a good paying job or whatever.

In response to the woman who said she would terminate:
I once, many years ago, told my Mom that I might abort if I ever got pregnant with a child who was retarded. She told me that sometimes those children are the most beautiful. My grandmother's sister had Downs. My grandmother cared for her and loved her. She died from pneumonia as a young teen. And my mother's sister was slow (we don't know why). So, my mom knows about this stuff. I will take my children as God gives them to me. Now I understand what she meant by beautiful; they can retain the innocence and enthusiasm of a child forever.

Hi...from what you described of your cousins lack of strength it is very common in children with DS. It is called "low muscle tone". they basically are like rag dolls, because they have very loose joints (sometimes you can hear the joints popping when you pick them up), however, this doesn't mean they are not strong it usually has to do with the joints themselves and the connective tissue. Physical Therapy is ABSOLUTELY necessary at this point! If PT is not started early (usually from birth) this child will have many problems later...he will not reach his milestones in development such as sitting up, crawling, walking etc. I am not sure where your Aunt lives, but where I live in the States they have a program called Birth to 3 or Early Intervention... it offers physical therapy, occupational therapy, speech and special education. These therapies are extremely important for a DS child!! I don't know how I can stress that enough....My 3 1/2 yr old son has down syndrome and he has been in this program since he came home from the hospital....he is an active child who loves to run, climb, copy and learn new things. his only real delay is in speech (he says a few words, uses sign language for a whole lot more and understands everything we ask him). would he be where he is now without these programs? no...that is how impotant they are.
I understand the denial...but they need to snap out of it! because as you stated this is "unfair to the baby". If they keep on this path they will always have problems, this isn't 20 or 40 yrs ago when they locked up kids with DS in institutions. These wonderful children grow up and can become wonderful, productive members of society and they deserve a chance to do so!!!!! Someone in your family needs to step up to the plate and say something to his parents, because what they are doing is wrong! and he deserves the best life possible.....this child needs to come first. when I read what your mom said it made me want to jump through the computer screen and shake some sense into her....yes, if they keep going in the direction they are headed with their child they WILL learn the hard way, but at what price? the price of a healthy little boy who is not living up to his potential! Sweetie, if no one has the guts to do this...you do it! and if talking to his parents doesn't work, get social services involved, because in a lot of respects this is a form of neglect and children with DS have just as many rights as any of us and they deserve a chance! I hope all goes well and if you ever have any questions or need to talk, please feel free to email me!

I agree, if I knew for certain I was pregnant with a down syndrom baby, I would terminate it.
It's really a shame when familys have a baby with down syndrom, but it sounds like they've already made their decisions and they cant turn back now.
Just be supportive to them, they will need all the emotional support they can get right now.