Child custody question -Help!?

I am nurse who had a 6 month problem w presciption drugs- mainly to cope w the living hell of a marriage I am in. I complied w a drug treatment program - was never charged w/ anything in the legal arena. I am a nurse and am required to take random drug tests that have never been positive and attend NA and AA. I want to leave but am scared because I want primary physical custody of my daughter. My husband is a complete control freak and treats my children from a prior marriage horribly. I cannot bear the thought of this man taking my daughter from me. What do you think?

Ok, I think you should consult with a lawyer before you separate from him or let him know that you are doing so. This will set up to a great start b/c the lawyer will alert you to what kind of documents you will need in court to prove you are the best parent for her and your other children.

I know lawyers cost a lot, so if you want to try to go it alone at first here are some suggestions....

1. Have your kids start journals and document what your husband does/says to them that hurt them. Tell them to be as specific as possible and write dates and even times with each entry. This will take care of proving the emotional and verbal abuse.

2. If your husband physically abuses your children in any way TAKE PICTURES and document each incident as it happens.

3. Collect all your documentation from your NA and AA meetings to prove your attendance. If possible, obtain a record from your job of your negative random drug tests. This will show a judge that you don't have an a "problem" or "addiction" that would adversy effect you being the primary caregiver for your kids. And even if there is a seed of addiction there, this shows that you are being proactive to combat it.

4. Last but not least, keep receipts of the things you buy in the house for your kids and keep a detailed budget along with pay check stubs to show that you are finacially stable to care for your kids.

In family court, as with any court, the #1 thing is having proof!!! You must PROVE that you deserve to have primary custody of your children. I know it sounds crazy b/c you know you are a good mom, but you gotta do it to ensure you will win.

Ask God to give you the strength to leave, not just for you but for the sake of your children.
Good Luck!!!!!

i have cheese

Seek legal counsel, not yahoo answers.

I strongly suggest that you seek the advice of an attorney and lay it all out on the line. It's no fun to be married to a control freak! In fact, it sucks the life right out of you. Do whatever it takes to get your children away from him.

how could this be proven that you had a drug problem? you know what just be honest with the judge say yes you had a problem and they are your children i doutb he'll take them from you anyway yes be honest then focus on how you are or did better yourself and the situation

I think you shall go to court

get away while you can. from a nurse stand point stay away from the drugs or you could lose your career. then what.

Your only human girl and we make mistakes. Most judges side with the mother and it will be almost impossible for your husband to get full custody. The judge will probably recommend joint custody. I am proud of you for realizing you had a problem and took care of it the appropriate way. The judge will also recognize this and be very proud of you for going to treatment and attending NA and AA. Mention to your AA and NA groups that you want to leave your husband. They will help you with everything and will represent you in court girl. No worries girl, get out and make a better life for yourself. However, I do not recommend you tell the judge that you took pills because of your husband.

I can relate with wanting to escape and I to was addicted to prescription drugs at one time. It helped me escape the pains and emotions I did not want to face in my relationship. But it is so much more painful to come off the damn things.

Hang in there girl you can do it. Hold your head up high and find a new path in life without this man in your life.

It is hard to remove a child from the mother. Money talks though, so be very careful if he consults with a high priced attorney. Be as up front as you can with your legal council for they know how to talk to the courts concerning past misdemeanors. My Ex was also a control freak, it cost him in the courts because he thought he was invincible and could control them as he did me, the judge saw right through him and awarded me 50% of all the assests.

You have nothing to worry about. First you are woman so the courts are very much in your favor. Second you have children from a prior marraige which are siblings to your current daughter - courts don't like breaking up siblings.

Be on your best behaviour - stay away from illegal drugs - like someone said here already that would would end your career as a nurse in a heart beat.

If youre serious about divorcing get a lawyer, if not get a therapist. Sorry your marriage is in such sad shape, hang in there, stay clean and sober.

I agree that you should seek legal advice. Therefore, I will give you my advice as an attorney.

First, the drug dependency will be an issue. How large an issue depends on what you have done in the intervening months since being caught and the progress you have made.

Criminal behavior, (which your actions were) in and of itself is not grounds to remove custody from a parent.

Next, since you don't state in what state you live, I can only answer generally. The fact that your husband treats your children from a previous marriage 'horribly' as you put it, is also irrelevant to the issue of custody of HIS child.

While it is not likely that either of you will gain full legal custody, it is quite likely that joint legal custody will be awarded to both parents with one being designated as residential custodian.

What this means is that while the child lives with one parent, BOTH parents will share in the decision making process regarding issues such as medical care, schooling and such.

I cannot advise you about leaving. That is a personal decision you must make on your own. What I CAN advise you on is NOT leaving the state if you widh to remain on level footing with the court during a pending divorce.

If you leave with your child and leave the state, the husband can (and should) file an immediate petition for divorce and pray the court order the immediate return of the child to the jurisdiction. The court CAN order the child returned, regardless of it's power over you.

Therefore, if you leave and file for divorce, do so in your current jurisdiction so that your problems are not compounded.

Why do u think that he will behave the same way with his own daughter the same way as the step children?