"Wanting" to have a disease or illness...?

For some reason, I don't mind having a disease or illness (but it's not like I'm thinking about it everyday). I know it's extremely selfish of me to think that. I'm not depressed, I think. I may have a long family problem (with my dad), but I always try to be optimistic and overcome it. I even watched the Japanese drama, "1 Litre of Tears" where the main character fights for her life, and I think, "Wow, I am so fortunate to have this life". Even so, it doesn't really make a difference now.

I don't know if this is a psychological problem, but I don't think it's normal. Maybe I am just feeling sorry for myself and want others to feel sorry for me. Also, I don't want to inconvenience my parents if I am bedridden in a hospital, because of the expensive bill. The most ironic thing is, I am taking a nursing program next year because I like helping sick and injured people. Funny, huh.

maybe your family treats you nicer, better when you are ill?

Your depressed. I felt the same way. Seek help before you allow these thoughts affect you to severly.

Your man with da plan,
Scratch

You've answered your own question. You may just want to be taken care of.

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