Is my husband being unrealistic about wanting me to work full-time?

Here is our situation:

We have a 5 year old daughter that does go to preschool.
I'm waiting for my application into the nursing program to be accepted and the program starts at the end of May. I can only work for 3 1/2 months. He already works 60+ hours a week (with no OT, he's an exec.) so I can't expect him to lift a finger around the house. I am open to working part time (approx. 30 hrs) but I can only work in a temporary capacity. I've tried discussing my side with him but I am exhausted emotionally. He wants me to work for his company for less than I could get elsewhere.

I have talked to MANY working moms that would rather not have to work if they didn't have to. We don't need the money of a full-time job.

I think you should compromise and work part time at his company until you hear from the nursing program. Keep in mind, people tend to get resentful when they spend a lot of time away from home, and the spouse is at home most of the time, basically its jealousy, they probably wont admit it, it feels unfair if you are the one away all the time, and dont have the time to enjoy being home. I'm not saying you dont contribute to keeping the home going, I think it bothers him that you are home and when he wants to be he can't.

you need to tell him how you feel and only do what you feel is right.

marriage is a equal thing .... why should he have to work 60+ hours a week to support you to "clean and cook"

if he needs help with the bills then you need to work

Why? What is his side of the story?

If you are financially strapped then yea you need to pull your weight, if you are financially secure then I don't see what the big deal is?

he do, why not you. 60 hrs , cry baby.

I think you should do what you want. He has no right dictating to you what you can and can not do, just like you can't dictate to him what he can and can not do. He is NOT your boss...he is your husband. You don't own each other!

Just tell him how you feel explain it to him like you just did her.

dont go to your husbands company for less money, pick the other option...

You are a grown woman. Work where YOU want to work and leave it at that. And you can expect him to lift a finger around the house. A job does not exempt someone from not cleaning up after themselves.

There was an article about how much a mother really should earn as a mother. I would understand having to work part time to help with the bills, but housework needs to get done and your child only going to preschool, from what I remember that isn't an 8hour a day thing. If I were you I would not work for his company, maybe its his way of trying to control you. I'd find a job that puts you at 30 like you said you wanted and go from there. If you start bringing home a paycheck, what does he really have to complain about. Good luck with the nursing program.

Yes, why can't you work. Your daughter goes to school and you are WAITING for your acceptance. I think working is fine. There is no harm in earning extra money while you child is in school and you are waiting to hear what MIGHT happen in the future.

Many, many women work full-time and run efficient and loving households.

If my child were in school and I wasn't working, I would be looking for a job everyday.

I came from a two working parents. My belief is if your kids are in school, you work. My mom was a neat freak when I was growing up. You could eat off our kitchen floor (not like I did). She manged to work and clean. Cleaning and keeping a house well-kept does NOT take all day to do.

I agree with your hubby. He works 60 hours a week to run a household. That burden is completely on him. He needs to provide the money for all the bills, the food, your needs, his needs, your child's needs. It's a lot to ask of one person.

Plus, extra money is never a problem. If you don't' need it, save it in a college fund for your daughter or invest it for your retirement. Extra money is very a waste.

What happens if you wait for your nursing letter and get denied? At last you have a job to fall back on.

Stick to your goals. He stuck to his when he became exec.

find a job full time, come home cook, clean and take care of your kid, for god sake you are not the only women out there that would be doing all this

Maybe you guys need to sit down and discuss your bills and have a real plan of action. Do a spreadsheet. Find out how much money he wants you to make to make him feel less stressed. Perhaps he just thinks he needs you to work. But when you look at your finances on paper, you're actually financially fine. And then if looking at the finances, you can see exactly what money you need, then you can find the right job to make that exact amount. And use this to prove to him why the job he wants you to work, just doesn't make sense. Perhaps you could find a part time job at night or on weekends, that pays more than the one he's asking you to work. It's for a short time any way. So if you really need the money, it's not that much of a sacrifice.

It is also your responsibility to help pay bills and such if this is needed then you have no other recourse then to find work and stop whining. really the nursing program is like a what if so your not even sure you will get a seat anyways find a job and work if he finds that the house is not up to his standards and that his child may be getting neglected who knows maybe he will realize he has made a mistake and he will appreciate more of what you do around the house. If the place is like a mess all the time because you sit around watching your soap operas then he has the right to ask you to get off your butt and work.

Really marriage is suppose to work 50/50 if the kid is in preschool there is no reason you cannot find work.

Is he okay with supporting you through school? Nursing school is tough enough when you are not married with a child. It sounds like he is going to expect you to be a mom, work and go to school. Does he make a decent (sustainable) living? Are there expenses that you can cut in lieu of having to go to work full time? I can hardly see how you working 40 hrs a week as opposed to 30 hrs a week is going to make a difference in 3 months time. It's a matter of a few hundred dollars. I am actually questioning whether or not he wants you to go to school. He may be trying to get you to work instead of going to school. You will probably spend more on childcare than you will make (unless you have someone to take care of your daughter for free while you work).

I would try to find a job that you like as opposed to working for his company (especially if you feel you can get better pay). Working with a spouse can be good or bad. It really depends on the relationship.

I went to college 12 hrs a semester while working 40+ hours a week while raising 2 boys and keeping house so I really don't understand why you can't do it too it's really not all that hard once you get in the groove of things. . . my hubby has always worked 50+ hrs a week with no over time and has kicked in on the house work . . .

You've stated your side, but what is his side? What's his reason for wanting you to work? Obviously from what we've heard from you, it sounds like he's being a selfish jerk. But its hard to solve the problem or give advice without knowing his reasoning.

Ummm, why can't he lift a finger around the house? You both work, you do care for the child and home, so just b/c he works at a specific location, and they deposit money into his account on a specific day that means he can't help around the house???? WHATEVER

If I were you wouldn't get a job, I would be brushing up on my biology, anatomy &psysiology, medical terminology, drug math calculations, medical charting, etc...preparing for nrsg school. That's your job, talking care of home, baby, jackask husband, and preparing for school. Don't let him stress you out.

Waiting to be accepted into a program is no excuse to not work. What if you do not get accepted? That would be three months of no income. If you get a 40 hour a week job....your hubby is still putting in 20+ more hours at work than you...so to be fair, you should be doing more of the housework than him...not all of it, but a good portion of it.
You can always quit a job, or reduce the # of hours you work...and is there something wrong with working while going into a program?

if he's affordable.. why not be the woman to this man... but can live simply though...by working partime... take your time... or maybe work together with him... if you are worried about him... its understandeable.....All the best to you...

I guess if YOU can decide whether you should work or not, your HUSBAND can decide whether or not he will still support you.

Works both ways, hun.

i think it is a great idea and opportunity to take a job right now with his company. can you tailor the hours to work around your other duties?

i admire your energy and your plans, you will do just fine!

good luck with your studies. the world needs fine nurses.