Graphic question about a physical exam. (Be warned) Help please?

Okay. I had an exam today, the first one. I am sexually active and thirteen but my mother doesnt know.But she does now. Long story and I'm scaredd?
I went in and filled out paper work while my mother talked to the docter. They're friends. Then a nurse took me in to the room and asked me if I was sex. active, she said the only one she could tell was the dr. So i said yes. She told me I shouldn't be and I was too young then wouldn't talk until the dr came in. I was in a paper gown which he asked me to remove. He said he'd gone over the exam with my mom and I could ask her about it later. I did all the not invasive stuff, height weight etc. Then he asked me to remove my gown. the nurse was still there but turned back on, organising a cupboard or something. I did and he said he was going to look at my back first. he ran his hands down my back, asking if it hurt anywhere. Then I rolled over and he did the same on the front but not on my breats or private area. More details in a minute ....

then he said he was going to start the brest exam. He rubbed a wipe over them to clean them. which made me cold and my nipples came out. he pinched each one and I asked wht he was at. He said testing my circulation and to please be quiet. I was and he spent another few minutes doing that. Then he pressed in places on my breast asking if it hurt anywhere. It didn't. Then he moved 'down there'. He inserted a thing that was meant to pull open my vagina so he could see in there. He swabbed the side and looked around. Then he inserted his hand and felt around a bit. I asked what he was doing he asked me to be quiet again then said. looking for abnormalities. He said he knew I was active and I nodded. Then he rubbed places outside me. Clitoral area. and asked me if it felt good, if I could feel it or if it hurt. I told him i couldn't feel anything which wasnt true, it obviously felt good. he said to tell the truth and started over. I had to tell him which was embarasing... was this normal?

Number one, your mother should have NEVER found out. They broke what is called HIPPA. This simply means that it's the responsibility of the nurse and doctor to keep your medical information private, regardless of your age. This is a major health care violation. Number two, although I would have waited longer to become sexually active, it is your decision. Don't let ANYONE tell you differently. If you are sexually active, fine. It's nothing to be ashamed about. It's a personal choice. Number three, the nurse acted VERY unprofessionally. She should have supported your decision and talked to you about ways to have safe sex. It is not her position to judge you. Number four, I don't like the way the doctor handled the exam. I think he should have sat down and spoke with you about your body and what he was going to do before he even did it. Instead, he made you uncomfortable and embarassed. Also, you can talk during a breast and gyne exam. It doesn't mess anything up. Lastly, rubbing his hands over your clitoris is very strange. He asked you if it felt good? Wow, that was out of line. I would have replied back with the same answer you did. That's not part of a gyne exam. The vaginal exam and swabs are normal, but the other thing isn't. I wouldn't trust this doctor (or nurse for that matter) even. You should tell your mom what happened. I'd even think about reporting him to the police. Even though a female nurse was in there with you, she did nothing to stop what happened. This should have NEVER happened. Kudos to you for being honest to your doctor about being sexually active. That's important. It was wrong of them to treat you like they did.

and....?

He did a rectal exam, that is done in a virgin to feel pelvic organs!
PS- I answered b4 u added more details!
PPs- (after reading the add. details) - Sorry, I think it is not proper. You may complain. It will be serious trouble for him.

you went to the gynocologist. it is normal everyone who is sexually active needs to go, but you are way too young

yeh thats fine..

A physician can simply ask you if you can feel sexual stimulation. He should not have to rub or stimulate body parts for this. Tell your mom and DO NOT go back to this doctor. You are too young to be sexually active but since you are, you are going to have to take responsibility for your actions as well as protecting yourself. Use birth control and protect yourself from sexually transmitted diseases. BC pills will NOT keep you from getting aids, gonnorhea, or any other of a host of diseases. But be aware that if you press charges, you are going to have to answer in the affirmative that the assistant was in the room during the exam which is the physician's protection from sexual misconduct charges. That issue can get sticky in a hurry.

Absolutely not! Talk to your parents immediately and get this man arrested. He violated his duties as a physician and doesn't deserve to be working any more, call the police something. As embarrassing as it may be to tell someone, you have to, if he did it to you, he's doing it to other girls.

TELL YOUR MOM RIGHT NOW!

ok tell your mom cuz doc's are supposed to answer your questions even in an exam cuz you have to know what's goin on okay tell your mom and that you want to complain and they also are supposed to tell you what they are doin before they do it.:)

Was the nurse still inside the room during the exam? If he was rubbing around ur clitoral area, and asking how it felt..then it sounds to me that u were violated. I guess u r afraid of him telling ur mom that u r sexually active. Let me ask u this ..do u feel comfortable with other young girls being examined by him? As far as your mother goes...if he revealed it to her...he would be breaking an oath of confidentiality and he would be in trouble if u sued him...but worse u shouldn't be having sex at such a tender age. If u were to get pregnant..anything can happen..then what? If u have an abotion u will feel guilty and u will get depression from it....this always happens and it's not just a single episode but yearly around the time that the abortion happens. If u carry the baby to term...and give it up for adoption..again it is hard on ur emotions and if u keep the child then it is detrimental for the child. I would seriously sit down and look at what could happen and talk to a counselor about it. You are playing with fire. The decision ultimately rests on your shoulders...I can't decide it for u....nor tell u what to do. I'm a Christian...and not to be preachy..but God allows u to have sex inside the boundaries of marriage..he designed it..but if u go against his desires u will reap awful consequences...his bootcamp isn't fun...and u will end up with an STD or a death sentence such as Aids. So please look after yourself and those that would be affected by your actions if things turned out badly. Just as you feel u were violated in that Doctor's office..God feels the same way, violated when u have sex before marriage. I know it is not easy.

God bless u,

Daniel
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Please Go To The Police Now! if your Mom thinks nothing is wrong go anyway even if you have to walk. THAT WAS SO WRONG IT MAKES ME SICK! that doc was way out of line.
please go to the police.

when i snet you the e-mail i looked to see if you had asked anymore questions that would tell me why your exam didnt go so well...

Pinching nipples is something that none of my doctors has ever done. ever. I'm not a doctor so I dont know if its normal...I just know that since i was 12 i've been seeing these doctors - almost 3 + times a year - and my doctor has never pinched my nipples.

My doctor has never touched my clit either...and most importantly, my doctor has NEVER told me to be quiet.

This is such a hard situation for you. Your mom, who is the one who you should usually be able to turn to - is friends with this guy. and I bet that in your heart you feel that she'd never believe that you feel uncomfortable with what he did to you. I dont know your mom, so I'm not sure what you can say to her - but maybe you can just say something like 'mom, i really wanst comfortable with a man doing an exam like that. Can we try to find a women doctor?' ... there ARE women doctors. MINE is a women. I love her - she has children my age and she is super gentle.

I hope that your mom would agree to this. If she does not - maybe you could talk to another family member about it - somebody who knows your mom better than I do who can help you find a way to either tell her what went on in the exam room or find a way to get her to let you switch doctors. Or perhaps if none of that would work you can request that more than 1 nurse be present in the room at the time of your next visit.

I'm so sorry that your having such terrible problems. My mom is very understanding ((She wanst understanding when she found out that i was having sex at 13..but she got pregnant with me when she was 18... so shes a little bit more understanding than some moms are))..and if im ever uncomfortable with a doctor she does everything she can to help me find a better one.

Good luck. And please feel free to e-mail me with any questions or concerns.