Should I divorce my husband to be with the man I truly love?

I married a man 31 years older than me after only knowing him for two months. I was on the rebound from my incarcerated boyfriend of four years. It wasn't until after I got married that I found out that my husband has many health problems including a weak heart, congestive heart falure and high blood pressure. But even worse than that, I found out that he is total jackass and very mean. I have tried to be a good wife to him, but I feel trapped. His mood swings, bad attitude and ungratefulness have slowly chipped away at my self-esteem and any love I may have felt for him is gone. I know that he would be lost without me to take care of him because his family only takes advantage of him, but I truly feel like a glorified private nurse. I forgot to mention that he is also impotent. My ex boyfriend was released from jail last week and I really want to see him. I know that when I do all of my feelings for him will be rekindled. I never really put those feelings behind me. Help?

hmmm, tough choice;

impotent ogre or ex-con?

I'd pick C: none of the above.

it may be time to just plain move on and find a decent man...

In sickness and in health just doesn't go as far as it used to
anymore

Looks like you're about to jump again... little advise. The first one out of a marriage is called "The Bridge" and rarely succeeds. This marriage might not be any good, but the new guy won't be any better, hon. Get some counseling, and if a divorce is in order get one. But don't go from the pan to the fire again... huuulllllllllooooooo?

i say follow your heart.

im not going to preach at you about being with a man who was incarcerated (im sure you already have been preachd toabout that)
yes if you do not love him and he is running you down DIVORCE him
as far as him being alone and his family taking advantage of him well thats a tough break for him
if you are miserable leave!
good luck to you hun
i hope everything gets better for you
by the way if i had the chioce id choose neither
after you divorce you need some 'you' time
dont go from one to another untill youve had a real chance to love yourself again

Doesn't sound to me like he is the one who is a jackass. Get my drift?

Have you thought that maybe neither men are for you?
The old guy who's abusive= you need to divorce him and move on!!
The other guy who's a criminal=you may need to move on from him too...
can't you try to find a nice, younger, normal guy who won't abuse you verbally and who won't end up in jail? And date him for a year before you marry him.
Good Luck

For better or worse, in sickness and in health? It's quite obvious that you didn't consider or give any regard to your wedding vows. It's obvious that someone 31 years your senior would have some type of medical problem, and you should have known that, it's like marrying a grand parent. 2 months isn't any time to get to know someone, you should have waited longer. You and your husband need to go to marriage counseling because your marriage is going to fall apart. Don't talk to your ex-boyfriend, he won't do anything for you, that's what a husband is for.

I think you should see the ex-boyfriend and see how it goes before you make any decisions. As far as your current hubby, you might want to call it off anyway. You obviously aren't in love with him and staying together is only denying the both of you the opportunity to truly be in love with someone. The ex might just be an easy way out, or he might really be the man for you.

Sounds to me like you are trading one evil for another. What guarantees do you have that your ex will treat you any better? By the way, why was he incarcerated?

You need to think long and hard before you leap. The ex-con probably just seems like the better alternative because you feel cheated and betrayed by your husband. Weigh your options and make sure you are not just setting yourself up for more heartache.

Aren't your vows supposed to mean more than an ex-con's promise?

Good luck!

You're just looking for an excuse to get back with the criminal. I have no advice to give to a woman who thinks the man of her life is man coming out of jail. In a couple of months we'll see you ask questions on here about the 'criminal' hitting you in the face, not working, ordering you around, drug abuse and such.....Really sometimes I feel like shaking to reason women like you!!! Smarten up!

Much of what you say above need not be considered in this discussion.

It is VERY relevant that you say your husband is a "total jackass and very mean". It sounds like your present marriage is on the rocks. If your needs are not being met in your marriage and you feel unappreciated and like a glorified "nurse", then you need to consider ending the marriage and moving on with your life. You cannot prevent his family from taking advantage of him, and that isn't necessarily a reason to stay with him.

Even being impotent isn't a crucial factor. At one time I thought sex was necessary to my life and happiness, but high blood pressure and emotional trauma caused by my husband's divorce from a real witch have interfered with our love life. I found that, since we have a truly deep loving bond, we are both happy, even without much sex. So it can be done...

OK... so we know you're not happy in your marriage....
And you found out your ex boyfriend was released from jail last week.
#1: you've deluded yourself into believing you "truly love" him.
#2: long distance relationships never work! (a relationship with a man in prison qualifies as a long distance relationship unless you go for regular conjugal visits).
#3: you left this man while he was in jail for a man you'd only known 2 months!
#4: you're trying to do to your husband what you did to your boyfriend... leave him for someone you don't know as well as you think you do.
#5: people just out of jail are not yet stable members of society and need to learn to live on their own and become a member of society once again.
#6: you're talking yourself into thinking you'll FINALLY have great sex so you want to believe your feelings will be rekindled.
#7: even if your sexual attraction is rekindled, your prior relationship problems will ALSO be rekindled
#8: you don't know who this man is any more. prison changes a person.
#9: you're just looking for a quick sexual fix
#10: You may have helped ruin your marriage if you clung to your desire for the man you left. You hurt your marriage!

You sound like a co-dependent... an addictive personality. You need to get divorced and NOT go to your ex boyfriend. You need to get counseling or join a support group as you need to come to terms with yourself both the good and the bad. You need to accept yourself and learn to be happy living ON YOUR OWN! Until you do that, you're NOT going to be ready for ANY RELATIONSHIP!

You might want to get a copy of the book co-dependent no more and read it.

Follow your heart. I too married a man 25 years older than me. And its been a control issues with him. I am filing for divorce now and it is very hard for me to do. I have been married 2 1/2 years but we have been together 10 years. This is something I have to do. It is what needs to be done formy 2 girls and myself. I also have my true love thats been around. I love him so much. But the truth is thats not why I am getting a divorce because I am not going to count on him either. To thy own self be true

Do what you promised when you took your vows...in sickness and in health, til death do you part. Stick it out and be a good woman and try to work with him and his anger. He is probably affected deeply by the many health problems he has and it most likely contributes to his mean and bad attitude. If you think your self esteem is being chipped away at, think of how low his self esteem might be...having to rely on this young wife of his to care for him because his family only takes advantage...maybe letting him know you don't dread being his wife and helping him lose the anger would be a better decision. Just throwing your arms up in the air and ending it because it is the easy way out is classic now days and nobody truly takes marriage seriously anymore, so either join the majority or be strong and do what is right and The Lord will reward you in the end.

Like most people, you are just chasing the wind. You love the infatuation phase and when it fades you become bored. This situation will always arise as you progess in life meeting one "true love" after another after another after another, until you wake up and follow the way Christ speaks of.