What to Call my Sig Other?

I am in a marriage relationship, but not legally married. It is a personal choice based on other things, and please no flaming about that, not interested in that.

But what do we call each other? BF/gf to me doesnt denote our level of commitment and love. We do occasionally call each other husband and wife, and have had a religious marriage ceremony, but are not legally married.

I call him my partner or sig other most often, but people get confused. I know what other people think dont really matter, but.

When I was in the hospital right after a surgical proceedure, I asked for him. I said I need my sig other, and they said only immediate family was allowed in the recovery room. I was like, he is my husband and my immediate family. The nurse went and got him, but had an attitude about it. That is actually my main concern. I am a cancer patient and I do have medical issues. My home hosp knows our relationship, but else where this happens

He is also my designated poa, and I have actually had to pull out the legal papers on that to get him to be let in at a hospital in the town were we are from.

Then I always get comments from friends about how he is not really in love with me and our relationship is not real and all that blah blah blah stuff.

Our legal marriage situation is a personal choice based on many things. Can we call each other husband and wife since that is the level of our relatinship even though we are not legally married.

You can always do a Domestic Partnership, Check out what the laws are in your state! In California you don't have to be the same sex to do this.

The other thing you can do is BOTH of you fill out a DURABLE POWER of ATTORNEY for HEALTH CARE. Name each other as agents on them, make sure they are Notarized.

Then if one of you are in the hospital again they can't bug you!

You should also make out will and do a Revocable power of attorney for financial matters {NOTARIZED} and filled with your banks and other financial places.

Since you had a religious marriage just call him your husband, hospital don't ask for marriage certificates.

If you are in a marriage relationship treat it like a marriage

That is BS what happened to you- If you live together, EVERY STATE recognizes DOMESTIC PARTNERS!!!

You can be put on each other's health insurance too.....

my friend did the same thing. they were "married" at a river but it wasn't legal. they lived as husband and wife for around ten years. now they are both happy it wasn't a legal marriage. but they titled them selves....husband and wife.

Just call him your husband, it's really nobody else's business if you're legally married or not.

If you are in a marriage relationship, whether it is legally recognized or just recognized by the two of you, it is perfectly acceptable to call each other husband and wife. Don't complicate things by splitting hairs.

In the states that recognize common law marriages, one of the requirements is that the couple presents themselves as husband and wife, generally by referring to one another as such. I'm not saying that your state DOES recognize commong law marriages, but it seems to me that this indicates that people who consider themselves to be married (even without the legal ceremony) generally still refer to each other as husband and wife.

Yes you can say you are husband and wife. It's the petty people that gets really picky when they make the distinction between H/W and S/O. It's like having a step-dad, but you treat him as if he is your dad. If you say that you are H/W, then sensible people will leave it at that.

You do need to make arrangements at the hospital to let them know that you have power of attorney. And you should have some proof that you are married, legal or not.

Good luck with your marriage, husband and wife!! LJK. .

Thank you for asking this. I am in the same boat. I live with my sig. other for over a year now. We have 4 kids between us and we don't plan on having any others so there is in my eyes no real reason to get leagally married. We did have a family unity ceramony to show the kids we are a combined family and we all love each other but it is strange to call him my boyfriend sometimes I do say fiance but that is not true either. He does not correct people if they call me his wife but he does call me his girlfriend. His dau. calls me her mom, my kids call him by his first name with MR. in front because that is the way they were introduced to him and it has stuck. They have all asked if they can call him dad but the Mr. comes out more often. He wants to get married legally but I am the one who does not. So long story short thanks for asking this I am interested to see what others think about people calling each other husband and wife even if it is not legal. Can I call myself a stepmom even if I am not married?

I say you call him your husband, bc that is what he is to you. I struggled with this same issue for many years. I have been with my husband for 14 years, and although we have never made it legal, we refer to each other as husband and wife.

Call him your husband or spouse.

I was in a coma and on life-support for a bit over six weeks.
My sig/wife/spouse signed a DNR order and had them turn off my respirator. My SO/wife/spouse was my legal guardian for several years because I was so badly brain damaged. I had no memory of her at all. I was expiring after being removed from the respirator much like you see occurring to Julia on "A River Runs Through It". My brother said I squeezed his hand and he was told a body does that sometimes as it dies.
They examined me again and asked me to give them a 'thumbs-up' sign if I was there.
I gave them the sign, but was still expiring. My SO/wife/spouse, who was in the hospital chapel mourning my death, when told this had them return the respirator. The spouse she married did die. I was born.

My SO/wife/spouse loves me, but NOT the way a wife usually does a husband. I love my SO/wife/spouse, but not the way a husband usually does.
I had 34 years of my life's memories erased. I can often tell you what happened but I do not remember it. It is like you can say you were born. Nobody remembers being born, but it happened.

Sit down with you SO and talk about this with them and see if they like being called one or the other. They may have no preference. You are a all three a SO/wife/spouse.

spouse (spous, spouz)
n. A marriage partner; a husband or wife.

Your relationship may just lie outside ALL known titles like mine does with my spouse. It is special.

Introduce him to people as "my current lover"

If he wants it to be more he will soon let you know.

How about "Stud Monkey" for him and "F*** Puppet" for you?Catchy,isn't it?And surely a conversation-starter at parties!

Heee,I crack myself up:)(: Seriously,as a person with his own issues with legal marriage,I've been saying for years that there should be a word for what you're describing.Although I usually have a Seinfeldian knack for creating words and names,this one has always had me stumped.Of the scant selection that does exist,"Soul Mate" would probably be most accurate.If that's a little too hippy-dippy for you(and I can certainly see where it would be),I would go with "Fiance",I guess. "Eternal Fiance"? "Forever Fiance"? "Fiance for Life"? Any of those doing it for you?No?Didn't think so...

Hospitals will stick with established protocol, if, prior appointment and changes can be made on the access list, with theirs and your approval...all should be fine...check it out.
DJV!