Resenting him?

my fiance and i have been together for 9 years, living together for 4. we are 26 and 27 yo. we have a 2 yo son.
i work 3 nights a week as a nurse. he works in a great job full time. great wages, hours etc that all fit in well with our life and son.
he came home 2 weeks ago and said he was going to find another job. i was so shocked and just stunned, i couldn't get my head around it all. he has since found another job, more hours for the same money, heaps more travelling, and i just dont understand.
he says he is sick of working with "bitches" (5 men in a small town) i know material things are not important in life but for the first time, we are finding our feet financially, not stressing about money ever, now i am scared he is going to put us back in the spot we came from, living week to week. am i being selfish? i just want us to be happy but i still am shocked as he has never spoken of his work troubles before?

I'm doing the math in my head, and I think it is a miracle that the two of you are still together. This man barely had a childhood. If he needs to do something a little unexpected, cut him some slack. He's there for you. Do you know how many guys who hooked up with a woman at 18 are nowhere to be found???

Sounds like he got fed up and said, "Screw this ****, I'm tired of these people."

A little selfishness i think and a little resentment on your part that he didn't give you the opportunity to say to him to do what he wanted.....

Let him be happy, if it doesnt work...walk

It is not right that he didn't talk to you first about it. It is even odder that he mention the problems at work before. It could be that he didn't want to bring work problems home, and just kept it to himself till he couldn't take it anymore. It is possible he got fired and didn't want to admit it to you. Many many possibilities. Talking to him about it is the only answer I see, but make sure you time it right i.e. not after he comes home from work after a long day. Make him understand that it is not so much about the money, but the fact that you didn't know anything about it.

As for being selfish, not really. It is not just the two of you anymore, since you have kid. That changes everything. The future is important now, as are all decisions each of you make.

He probably didn't want to be a "whiner". Nobody wants to be in an unhappy situation.

well he was thinking about himself, which he has to or he'll have a miserable life. your not being selfish, because you guys have a son togethr, why don't you work some more to make more money that can help out with the bills. Give him a break and show him that you care about his feelings as well .

I can certainly understand your worries....I would hate to end up living pay check to pay check...I don't think you are being selfish one bit....Women want to feel both physically and financially secure...especially when children are involved.....I can also see your fiance's point as well....I don't think it good for anyone to stay in a job that they detest...only because the money is good....If he is seriously considering finding another job....ask him to find that job first...to make sure that is what he really wants to do...BEFORE he quits is present job....

Ask him about it. Maybe he just didn't want to stress you out about his work troubles. Being happy at work is important.

Your not being selfish for worrying about your family, your being cautious.

On the other hand, if he's not happy at work, you can't expect him to stay in that job when he has another one available that pays the same.

He probably didn't wanna bring his troubles home to you and your son, he should be commended for that.


If it really worries you talk to him about it, communication issues are the second most common cause of divorce, right behind money, which you seem to be doing ok for right now.

Ma , since he's already found the job support him in his decision . Babe I agree he should've given you some heads up but sometimes enough is enough.
I know it can be scary,but if you really love him do just that love him in all that you/him do. There's nothing in the world as beautiful/strong as a relationship w/ god and a supportive mate.
As long as his desires and his focus does not waver (and even if it does a Lil' bit) from the previous position don't trip. He sounds like a great dude, consider yourself lucky, as I'm sure he is also.