How do you find my poem..... :)....???

alone i sit this doomed night..darkness is all i see
with ghosts of past, present corpse and future's dead me

i dont care bout this lonely room or a bloody stinkng self
i dont know..still these desperate screams haunt me for my help

"it's time" ,i hear, as someone shouts..."it's time to go true
it's time you forget other's pit and acknowledge the sinking you.

how low you steaped, when you werent you
how sick did you go
for times and stages, you killed your 'you'
and acted you didnt know

now common you pest, stop begging love
and realise that you are plain sh!t
dont blame the world as you stand bereft
cause you are the misfit

for you faked smiles when tears knocked
and you did hide that bruise
you saw it coming..so why so shocked
your end is no new news

you earned it all, each single blow
you made your own bloody hell
so common dear enjoy the show
believe me..you deserve more as well

Aha! each wound you get,brings peace to me
鈥cstasy as you bleed
oh! You knew this was meant to be
so why now do you plead.

The red of your blood is so satisfying
Each drop that drops...each stain
I feel so complete ,to see you crying
My quench, spells your pain

You slaughter scene pays you so very right
Your blood is too damn cheap
The pain you鈥檒l get is the real sight
Staling bruises鈥?undone and deep

Oh!what a shame you dared to breathe
Thought you deserved love too
And shame on me 鈥ou I believed
CURSE ME鈥?FOR I AM YOU鈥?/div>

2 weeks ago

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I liked the first four verses but after that, I hate to say, it got a little repetitive.
The last five verses could have been reduced to two as they repeat the same theme and this would have actually made your message more understated and heart felt. I think a "less is more" approach here would have helped you get the message across and probably in a stronger way than just repeating yourself over and over again.
Overall it's ok, not bad at all and your energy can definately be felt. I'd like to see a more powerful, condensed version though.
I hope you find this useful!

wonderfull..!! amazing...seriously i liked it..... :D

Nice! you have talent just copy right it so no one can steal it

nice story.

it gives me a good image ....its good,i guess!

I don"t know
No time 2 read

thats an EmO poem...a really sad poem.. :(

It's thought provoking.

.
pathetic!

nice story sis

the poem is really nice but its sad..........
how r u sweety?

A mind- blowing one. no words to praise it enough it's beautiful. could you pls check out on my poem on the same page?

simply amazing

AWESOME........that's the only word which comes to my mind....

It is a very good poem!

woow!! u r a poet

tooo big to read, i will sleep off

OMG, give it a rest.
This isn't a poem, it's a rant.

good one

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