Is this a new diet lol?

I was in Wal-Mart buying a large bag of Purina for my Labrador Retriever and was in line to check out.
A woman behind me asked if I had a dog.
On impulse, I told her that no, I was starting The Purina Diet again, although I probably shouldn't because I'd ended up in the hospital last time.
I explained how I'd lost 50 pounds before I awakened in an intensive care ward with tubes coming out of most of my orifices and IVs in both arms.
I told her that it was essentially a perfect diet and that the way that it works is to load your pants pockets with Purina nuggets and simply eat one or two every time you feel hungry & that the food is nutritionally complete... so I was going to try it again.
I have to mention here that practically everyone in the line was by now enthralled with my story, particularly a tall guy behind her.
Horrified, she asked if I'd been poisoned and was that why I wound up in the hospital.
I said no..... In all actuality, I'd been sitting in the street licking my ***** and a car hit me.

see....i told you, that you were bad!!!! lol

Bad, bad, boy!!! Now get in the doghouse & don't come out 'till you can behave!!!

He he he ;-P

your on a roll today!

hahahahahah! nice one 'Jake'!!!

hahahahaha

cool
hahahaha
Little Bobby had been searching through a stationer's stock of greeting cards for some time when a clerk asked, "Just what is it you're looking for? A birthday greeting, message to a sick friend? An anniversary, or a congratulations to your mom and dad?"
Little Bobby shook his head and answered, "No. Er...got any blank report cards?"

good one!star for you!

Man have you just not ever wanted to do this sometimes when you ask the question of the day.This is so funny. A star.for you. still laughing.

lmao. i just don't know how many times i have to tell my ex to stop s ucking himself in the middle of the road maybe one day he may get hit the right way and he will never be able to su ck his d1ck again. yeah i know it was a stupid thing to say but oh well. star

LOL,LOL,LOL, hilarious.
Star awarded.
First a rooster now a dog, what next!!!!!!!!,.......... ha ha ha.
Thanks for the laugh.

lol =P

cazy man!!! thats what you get!

Good One!

Funny

The punch-line gives it away as a joke! If you could do that, you'd never leave the house!! LOL!!
-Mel

lolololololo........sit jake sit!!