Is it wrong to ask daughter to help dress wound from surgery?

Is it wrong for me to ask and expect my 22-year-old daughter to help me dress a wound from a recent surgery, when I cannot see my backside in order to do it myself? BTW, she is living with my husband & myself rent free and has her baby living her with us also. She's always asking for money and for us to do things for her and yet...now that I seriously need her help with this...she's refusing to help. I'm so angry with her right now, that I want to throw her out on her little butt and tell her to make it on her own two feet w/o our help. Any other parents have any thoughts or opinions on the matter? Oh, I'd like to add that she likes to brag to other people about how she takes care of her momma and daddy...... When I think about it it just makes me grit my teeth.

I'd like to add that I'm also supposed to be going in for a much bigger surgery very soon---brain surgery. I've been scared out of my wits that if everything goes okay at the hospital, that I'm going to come back home to this house and her cavilier attitude about what's been happening to me...that I'm gonna end up with complications of some kind.

I am so sorry for what you are going through and wish that "I" was there to help you. It is not wrong to ask her to help. I have recently has a mastectomy and my daughter loved helping me with the drainage things. She helped me so much with what I was going through.

I think you really should give her a talking to. Explain to her how difficult it is for you to do these things yourself. One thing I will admit that with my surgery, I wasn't able to do a lot of housework and I'll admit that I had to talk to my mom and sister and have them talk to my daughter to give me more help around the house especially while going through chemo. I live alone and just was too sick to do the things I wanted to. Maybe if she is close to anyone in the family, you could talk to that person and have them explain to her what you are going through and that you really need help.

I hope things get better and my prayers are with you.

If you have a close realationship with your daughter then I think it's ok coz it's for a valid reason. I'm training in nursing so I don't see anything wrong with her helping you like that. Hope all goes well. =)

It's fine to ask. However, if she has a weak stomach or is really uncomfortable I wouldn't force her. Some people just can't handle stuff like that. My brother in laws wife can't even see blood, stitches or anything of the like. I had to do it for him because she couldn't.

No it isnt wrong,But really dont expect it from her cos sometimes she will be busy

Sounds like you have alot more going on than simply her refusal to help you change the dressing on your wound. I know you don't want to hear this right now, but you have created this monster. If she's 22, living at home rent-free, with a baby no less, there's something terribly wrong with that picture. Why would you think she'd behave like an adult when you're treating her like a dependent child? You need to immediately set some household boundries, and make them stick! If you're okay with her living with you, then the very least she needs to do is pay some rent and her share of the groceries and utilities. You're not allowing her to grow up and become a responsible adult. You're crippling her emotionally by doing everything for her. And for Pete's sake stop giving her spending money!! No one can take advantage of you without your permission.

Do you have the Visiting Nurse program where you live? If you do then call them and get the help you need, because your daughter has already proven that you can't depend on her help.

Is it wrong to ask a daughter to help dress a wound? NO, and any kind of caring, respectful daughter wouldn't need to be asked. She'd do it unprompted simply because she could see that you need help.

No, it isn't wrong as long as she does not mind. Can your husband help you too? -It is really his place.

I think she should. You are taking care of her - why can't she help you with something you can't do by yourself? I'd be worried with her attitude that she might not do a good job. Can your husband help you?

i think its perfectly acceptable for you to ask your daughter for help - but i am saddened that she does'nt offer - she should want to help - but i'm afraid this day and age 'children' apear to expect the parents to run around after them but when it comes to you needing help they're long gone - my daughter is much the same - when we did things for her all was ok, when i was ill she criticized me, when i said sorry but no i cant help because i'm not well she stopped talking to me - so i know what youre going through - it angers me and it saddens me - but you have many more things to worry about than how your daughter helps or doesnt help - you need to get yourself fit for the fight ahead - dont let this drag you down - good luck to you I hope things go well for you.

No, it's not wrong, but taking care of wounds is sometimes out of a persons comfort zone. Personally, I wouldn't do that. It's disgustiing, but fortunately for my parents, one of my siblings works in the medical field and would be more than comfortable doing something so icky. Yes, I said 'icky'. Why don't you get your husband to do it? As a parent, he should be more than comfortable dealing with gross things to take care of someone, I mean he probably changed diapers, cleaned up vomit and took care of cuts and scrapes himself when your daughter was a child.